Post # 1
How do you know if it is the right time to have a baby? Do you ever really know? For those of you that are pregnant, were you 100% sure that you wanted a baby when you started trying?
I ask because I’ve been thinking more about getting pregnant in the past year. I guess I chalk it up to finally graduating from school, moving, getting jobs that pay better, etc.
The only thing is that my current job requires me to live in a foreign country a few months each year. This job only has 1.5 years left though. And I would go back to the foreign country next January – May. All other times I’m back home in the US living with my husband.
Maybe this is stupid, but I feel like I should get pregnant now to avoid going to the foreign country next year. I could just take maternity leave during that time instead.
For other reasons I feel like it would be easier to have a baby now, since my next job is going to be a lot harder than this one and will require more of time committment.
But I keep second guessing myself. I am 28. I still have a lot of life to live. I am having a love/hate relationship with this country. Sometimes it is fun to live abroad. Sometimes I really miss my husband and just want to go back and settle down. I keep debating whether I should get pregnant now, or stick the job out and go to the foreign country again next year and just have one last hoorah before getting pregnant after that. The only problem then is that I’d have a very young baby while starting a brand new difficult job. And I feel like having the baby would keep getting pushed back because of the new job.
So many decisions. Bees how did you decide when to TTC?
Post # 4
@MissLilikoi: I’ve been told by every mom I know there is never a right or convenient time if you both want a career. There are simply better or worse times and your kids will be fine in both.
Post # 5
In my opinion there’s never a right time to have a baby. You may never have enough money. Your job may never settle down. So many things that people think about before trying to have a baby. Darling Husband and I decided to just go for it. Some folks may find that irrisponsible but it was a choice that has worked for us. Our first is due in July and there’s been some bumps in the road but we’re excited regardless.
Post # 6
The right time is when you are in a loving relationship and you are both willing to make the sacrifices required to raise a child.
Post # 7
@MissLilikoi: I don’t think you’re ready just yet. I think it might be good for you to go to that foreign country and have the last hoorah as you say, then start the new job, and maybe when you’re six months to a year into the new job, TTC. So you’ll be 31-32 when you have the baby. That way you won’t have any job regrets, you’ll have your foot in the door at the new job, and you’ll be set up career-wise. I think the only con to that is that you might not be the most popular person if you’re only there a year before you take maternity leave, but what can you do? I assume you’re not running the company, so as long as there’s a position there when you get back, it’ll be fine. By that time you also may have a bit more urgency when it comes to acutally wanting a baby. It sounds like you want one but timing is quite off… I’d wait.
Post # 8
Haha is anyone ever 100% ready to have a baby? I’m sure there will always be one more thing you want to do or wait for. As long as you are in a loving and stable relationship and can pay your bills, I think you’ll be okay.
But what does your husband think? Is he ready to have a baby? I think what I would do in your situation is not actively TTC but not actively try not to either.
Post # 9
@MissLilikoi: I don’t ever think there is the perfect time to have a baby. If you and your husband are financially sound and ready for a baby emotionally, mentally, and financially I say go for it! And there is nothing wrong with having babies before you are 30. I am 32 and will be 33 when I get married in August. I wish I would have gotten married younger and had kids when I was still in my 20’s. All I know is that my Fiance and I won’t be waiting too long after we are married to start trying for babies. Good luck and I think it will come down to priorities for you and your husband. 🙂
Post # 10
I personally am glad that I am TTC now even though there was no 100% perfect time. Right now I am 7 months in and am not yet pregnant, so it doesn’t always happen super quickly. If I had made a specific plan, like “I will graduate from school in 3 months, then I want to travel for a year, then I will get pregnant and have a baby before my 30th birthday”, it might not work out like that. What if it took over a year to get pregnant? Would you start getting worried about your age? Because I probably would (I’m 28 too). So I decided to just start and if it happened right away it might not be 100% ideal, but it would be totally doable and we would still be happy/mostly ready. But it didn’t, so I’m glad I found that out now and didn’t wait until later to start trying.
Hope that makes sense, it’s a bit rambling!