Post # 1
Move our date?
My brother’s partner is due to have a baby in April (yay!), but here’s the deal, the baby will only be (at most) 3months old by the time our wedding rolls around.
Now I’m not in the boat of not having kids/babies at our wedding, but I DO know from experience how much more stressful and difficult it can be to not only travel with an infant, but to attend functions with them can be tiring as well.
So far we haven’t sent out Save-The-Date Cards or really ‘announced’ our date, it’s only been vaguely mentioned to the parental units. Our venue is super flexible as they don’t generally do weddings or functions, and have already told us that if we need to move the date that it shouldn’t be an issue.
Now, I really like my brother’s gf, and would like for her to be able to attend comfortably, but I really don’t see that happening at this point, (if it were me, I’d probably rather stay home rather than drive 2+hours for an afternoon function only to drive 2+ hours back).
Besides that, my partner’s gram’s b-day is the day after our current wedding date, and she usually does a big thing with her family out in Calgary every year (like a mini-family reunion) and I wouldn’t want to rain on that parade (or have to accomodate it with our small guest list).
So those things considered, what would your opinion be on moving the date back a few months to say October?
I am really just tossing ideas around at this point and am looking for a good sounding board (which is why I turn to the bee).
Post # 3
It sounds totally rational to me! We tossed around a few date ideas to the parents before settling on one, too. It’s really sweet that you’re trying to accomodate for your brother’s girlfriend and FI’s grandma :).
Post # 4
You could also offer a baby-sitter option. Perhaps in a hotel close to the venue. Then the mommy to be could run over if she can’t take it.
I am offering a baby-sitter. I am using my younger cousin as the sitter, she’s 15 and younger than all of us. She and her friend are delighted to do the baby-sitting for us. We are giving her $100 and put a little note in the friends that we know have kids that might be traveling to let them know they are more than welcome to use this option.
I got really positive response from some of friends saying that they were contemplating not coming because they don’t have anyone to watch their children or don’t want to travel with out them yet, and are excited that they can attend. I also have a friend who is breast feeding so it will allow her to run over and serve the little one dinner 😉
Post # 5
Hmmm tricky situation. I totally see your reasoning here in wanting to make your brother and his gf with their baby are accommodated. I don’t see you really needing to push it back MONTHS on their behalf however. Maybe a week or two so it won’t conflict with her huge family gathering. However, is there any way they can get a hotel room or something so they won’t be too exhausted having to drive the two hours back after the wedding?
My sister just had a baby and I asked her a similar scenario and she said wouldn’t care at all. She would just make sure and get a hotel room so they wouldn’t have to worry about travel and that stress would be off.
There is always the idea of them getting a baby sitter too, which I am not sure how they would feel about that. I know it can be hard to leave a new baby at home, but it might be an option.
Post # 6
I think 3 months is plenty of time to be settled and ready to travel with a baby. But that’s just me. I guess it depends how set you are on your current Date. I guess if it doesn’t matter to you when the date is then move it. But I wouldn’t move it if I really loved my date because of these reasons. JMO
Edit: To add that traveling and attending functions with Children will be challenging no matter what age they are. And actually would be easier when they are an infant because they sleep a lot more. The older they are the more they are awake and have a mind of their own & want what they want.
Post # 7
That is a really good idea, we will likely be booking hotel blocks anyway, so i will definitely think about that.
I plan on asking her about it next time I get to see her in person. It’s her first & she’s been a tad nervous thus far, so I definitely want to talk to her and see what she feels comfortable with –I know when I had my son I was terribly paranoid about anyone watching him — & I’ll be sure to try and follow up with her after the delivery and whatnot as well.
As a side note, one of my BMs might be in Malaysia doing research summer ’11 (she hasn’t clarified when yet), so that is another reason why I was considering moving it so far.
Post # 8
This is true, travelling with kiddos is always a challenge — I was also thinking about vaccs dates & how they can make wee ones extra unruly.
I am definitely going to check in with the mom to be before making any decisions.
As for being set on our date, it was mostly chosen out of convenience (I guess we never thought about it too much haha), as a lot of people find it easier to travel during the summer & etc.