(Closed) Should you help your SO pay for your engagement ring?

posted 10 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: Should you help your SO pay for your engagement ring?

    Yes

    No

    Explain below

  • Post # 62
    Member
    2181 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    I voted explain below.

    SO has significantly more money than I do, and is also working full time at a well paying job, while I am a grad student making negative money.

    He gave me a budget for my ring, which we are picking out together. The ring I want should end upt being under budget (not quite sure, it’s semi-custom), but I told him that if it ends up going over budget that I would pay the difference. He didn’t actually respond, so I don’t know if he would go for that, but the offer is on the table.

    Post # 63
    Member
    1608 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    I’ve offered many times, but its a pride thing for my SO to pay for it himself. 

    Post # 64
    Member
    1092 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2017 - Bristol zoo

    In any situation I would rather my BF felt at ease and if possible I will try to accommodate to that. Engagement is no different, I would happily have no ring, a ring I helped pay for, or anything really so that he felt most comfortable with it (nit just including ring). 

     

    If the ring were the only thing holding him back I think I’d be slightly annoyed, especially if he weren’t voicing his concerns. 

    Post # 65
    Member
    427 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    I didn’t directly help pay for the ring but my SO started up his own small business (he works full time and does his own business on the side).  I help him with the business doing all the paper work and going out onto job sites helping with the installs, doing quotes for customers etc.  I have never taken any type of pay for this because we always saw it as the money from the business was ours to spend, not his or mine.  The main reason for starting it up was to save up extra for a wedding fund quicker, and since we got super busy and had the cash to pay from the ring from that, it’s how he bought the ring.  I don’t see anything wrong with it, if it wasn’t for his skill set we wouldn’t have been able to start up the business and wouldn’t have the extra income and in exchange I got to design the ring of my dreams.

    Post # 66
    Member
    2590 posts
    Sugar bee

    @wmk6:  Instead of helping then-BF buy a ring, we went to a pawn shop.  I think my ring was $125 and I LOVED it!  Ended up putting a moissanite onto it a few years later, when he (we) could afford it.

    Post # 67
    Member
    439 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @VikingPrincess:  I second this.  If he isn’t able to afford a ring on his own, I wouldnt marry him until he does.

    Post # 68
    Member
    1611 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: Central Park

    DH needed a laptop for work/music so I actually bought my own engagement ring. We’d been engaged for about 4 months and I had a cheap stand-in ring before that. I don’t see an issue in contributing money to a ring you’re going to wear for the rest of my life. It seems archaic to expect the man to buy it with just his money to prove that he can provide for you considering that most households are dual income and that most couples live together before they get married.

    Post # 68
    Member
    14 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    I was happy with what happened in my situation. He bought me the ring, and surprised me with it. I had told him previously not to spend over $3000 on it so I did have some say in the price. Afterwards, I foud out he put it on his credit card…so I promptly gave him money to pay it off (he and I were in slightly differnet financial situations). In my case, this worked. Once we were engaged, I saw our money as being shared, and I happen to have more of it than him at the time being. I contrast this with a friend who ended up with a $200 plain band because her fiance couldn’t afford more… Hope this helps! (Whether or not I wish he could have paid for it on his own is a different question!). 

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