(Closed) Should you invite everyone who has invited you??

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
1987 posts
Buzzing bee

MuseForever:  Etiquette does not require you to extend wedding invitations to reciprocate the gesture of having been invited to someone else’s wedding.  🙂

Post # 3
Member
3035 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast

I’m inviting pretty much everyone who’s wedding we’ve attending (I dont think we’ve ever not attended 1 we were invited to). There are a couple that we haven’t spoken to recently and so I didn’t add them.  I only added the questionable ones after we had extra space after our ‘must have’ list.

Post # 4
Member
2445 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

We did not. We had a very small wedding of only family and close friends (who were all basically in the wedding party). Our circle is pretty tight as it is, so the few weddings we’ve been to were mostly acquaintances.

Post # 5
Member
7049 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

No.  I want a small wedding, so there’s no way I’m inviting everyone that has invited me.  Most people I never see or talk to anymore anyway (I used to move around a lot).

Post # 6
Member
2697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

MuseForever:  I’m only inviting people who I’m still close with. We both have such large families that the ‘friend’ portion of our guest list is not very large. So when we picked friends it was easy for Fiance because he still has the same core group from high school and for me it was harder because I moved around a lot and made friends all over the place, so I invited people who I still talk to on a regualr basis. So that means there are people who’s weddings I was invited to but are not invited to mine.

Post # 7
Member
2697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

SeaOfLove:  Everytime I see your name I sing the song in my head (sea of love), which was a top contender for our first dance song… and I LOVE it and it makes me happy and it makes me smile.

So post on girl! Sorry… I just had to say that lol.

Post # 8
Member
7049 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

winterwoodlandbride15:  Hahaha. I love it!  I’m honestly considering the Cat Power version as my precessional song.  Have the wedding party walk down to “And The Winner Is…” from Little Miss Sunshine, followed by “Sea of Love” for me!  When I first played the combo for my Fiance, he said it sounded a bit sad, but I think it would be perfect for the location (we’re getting married outdoors in Bar Harbor with Frenchman’s Bay as the backdrop).  I’m still open to songs that he wants to do, though.  He just hasn’t brought any to my attention, yet 😉

Post # 9
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee

SeaOfLove:  I also want to have a small wedding. I really want a private ceremony with only family. And I wanted to invite others to the reception. But I am torn about how to do this without confusing or offending someone. How are you determining who to invite? Are the people invited to the wedding the only people you will be inviting to the reception?

Post # 10
Member
311 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Family who you can stand, I would invite. That could cause more tiffs. As for friends, i dont see any issue not inviting them if you haven’t spoken in a while. There are two friends who I was close to back when they got married (2 years ago) but since then we haven’t really spoken. They won’t be getting an invite

Post # 11
Member
9336 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

invite who you want to invite.  we were invited to DH’s cousin’s 250 person wedding the year before ours, but that cousin and wife did not make our 120 person guest list.

i also went to weddings when i was in college and just out of college but i am not friends with them anymore, so i didn’t invite them to mine.

Post # 12
Member
7049 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

Are you planning on the ceremony and reception with different guestlists on the same day?  I really don’t think it’s customary in America (I’ve heard that a lot of European Bees do that). If so, I suggest you make a thread on here asking other American Bees what they think.  However, I have a friend who had a very small private ceremony on the beach in California, then she had a huge reception in our home state of Minnesota a week or so later.

What I’ll be doing is inviting immediate family (including grandparents) and lifelong friends, with a few aunt/cousin exceptions.  We’re having a ceremony followed by a reception with those 30-or-so people in Maine – a domestic destination wedding.  We’ll then have celebrations in our home states following the wedding (in Pennsylvania about a month after, because we live there, and in Minnesota about 6 months later).  This way, anyone who wasn’t invited or couldn’t make it can still celebrate with us  We’ll have it at our house and my dad’s house and just serve hors d’oeuvres, desserts, and drinks.  We’re not asking for or expecting gifts.

Post # 13
Member
7049 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

Whoops, above comment is for EMG91215:  

 

Post # 15
Member
17 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2013

We didn’t. We didn’t want our wedding to be too large, so we invited close family and friends only, regardless of whether we went to their wedding recently. We also paid for our own wedding, so we had the “final” say in who we invited.  It worked out well because the only wedding we weren’t able to attend recently anyway was a cousin of my DH’s who we really don’t talk to much anyway. Good luck making your decision!

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