(Closed) Should you live together before marriage?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Do you think a couple should live together before getting married
    Yes : (114 votes)
    54 %
    No : (23 votes)
    11 %
    Depends on the situation : (72 votes)
    34 %
    Other, see below : (3 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 3
    Hostess
    16213 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    My personal (and religious) conviction is not to live together before marriage. However, I respect all with differing beliefs. Me not living with my fiance doesn’t hurt anyone, just like someone else who is living with her fiance doesn’t hurt me. 🙂

    Post # 4
    Member
    3222 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I’ve lived with my Fiance for about a year and a half, a year of that was before we got engaged, and I think it’s been really beneficial to us. It’s helped us learn each other’s ticks, how to compromise, and we have more time to spend with each other. Our relationship really changed when I moved in with him…we just got closer and more serious, if you will.

    Post # 5
    Member
    3176 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I don’t think there is a right answer to this question. It depends on every couple and their personal beliefs.

    Post # 6
    Member
    3564 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    To me there is no “should”–what’s right for one person might not be right for another. For me personally, it was important to live with Darling Husband before marriage. But that doesn’t mean that that’s what SHOULD happen for everyone.

    Post # 7
    Member
    841 posts
    Busy bee

    I personally do not like the idea of living with your SO before marriage, but with immigration, I don’t have much of a choice! I have no where else to live when I move to the states but with my Fiance. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    4583 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    It really does depend on the people involved, what their values are, etc.

    Personally, I couldn’t imagine marrying someone without living with them first. As much as Fiance and I love each other, it was important to us to see what our day-to-day lives would be like as a married couple before making such a huge commitment. We lived together for a year before getting engaged.

    Post # 9
    Member
    10288 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I personally feel that its very important for the couple to live together before marriage. Dating and living with someone are two very different things. Until you share a roof and bills, I feel like you can’t really 100% know the other person. I learned a lot about Fiance when we first lived together. We’ve been cohabitating for almost 5 years now and I wouldn’t take back a single day of it. It’s drawn us closer together and made us really work and think as a team. I personally would not consider marrying someone that I didn’t know for a fact that I could live with. 

    I realize other people have different views on the subject and thats fine. This is just my opinion and what works for my relationship. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    6892 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    @UpstateCait: I agree 100%. We moved in together before we were engaged and will have lived together for almost 3 years on our wedding day. We have learned SO MUCH about eachother, some things that might have been potential deal-breakers in other relationships.

    My mom always told me that she WANTED me to live with the man I thought I would marry because she didn’t have the opportunity (grandparents.) My whole family supported us entirely. And now they’re just excited we’re getting married!

    Post # 11
    Member
    2280 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    Should? There is no “should.” People do what they like and what they feel is best.

    Post # 12
    Member
    1398 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    what @CaitMarae said! Fiance and I went through a lot of fights while we figured out how to best live together. You learn so many personal habits, people become lazy in their own place vs when they’re trying to impress you when you go out. You are seeing them for who they truly are, and it can cause problems. Fiance and I felt it was absolutely necessary to make sure we could live together without tearing each other’s heads off.

    Post # 13
    Member
    514 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2011

    Everyone I know learned both good and bad about their significant other when they moved in together. Some of those things made them closer and some were major issues that had to be worked out. For me, I wanted to know if there were any issues to work out before saying I Do.

    Post # 14
    Member
    3148 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    @PuntaCanaBride: I wanted to live with Darling Husband so badly before we got married. and we are both Christians.

    i was/am of sound mind that people should live together before they get married. Its a huge adjustment so living together might be a deal breaker, you know? Maybe you just cant do it??!!

    BUT I lived with Darling Husband before we got married, it was awsome and we got married. and now…we are married and nothing has changed! I wish we had waited just so we could have all this “newess” to enjoy..moving in, setting up pur home as married couple etc. *sigh*

     

    Oh well. We did wait till were were engaged atleast! :p

    Post # 15
    Member
    6597 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I can’t imagine NOT living with my SO before marriage. It was very important to both of us and we cohabitated for 5.5 years before getting engaged and 6.5 years before the wedding.

    Best thing we ever did in our relationship!

    Post # 16
    Member
    5096 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    For me, living together was completely the right thing to do.  However, I totally understand that it isn’t for some people. And I DO think it’s a mistake to move in with someone you’re not seriously committed to – it’s so much harder to break up with someone when you live together, especially if you have pets, etc.  I think a lot of couples that aren’t right for each other stay together because it would just be so hard to move out. 

    So, I guess I think that in general, living together is a good last step before marrying someone – just to make sure that there aren’t any big problems that come up.

    The topic ‘Should you live together before marriage?’ is closed to new replies.

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