(Closed) Should your MOH throw you a bridal shower?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
5075 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

you asked her to throw you a shower?

I’m not sure you’re going about this the right way.  No one is required to throw you a shower or party.  I’d be appreciative of whatever they do, whether it is up to your standards or not.  

Post # 4
Member
4284 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I went through this exact thing. I am always the planner! I need to control everything and whatever my bridal party gives me is what I have to accept. I freaked out about the shower. It turned out absolutely PERFECT. Not everyone is like us with planning and delegating. Its better not to say anything and remind yourself they will do what they can, and we didn’t plan their parties with the intension of expecting anything in return 🙂 Good luck! I took many, many DEEP BREATHS!

ETA: Just to clarify, I didn’t ask anyone to throw me a shower. My SIL wanted to….

Post # 5
Member
5075 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

what is with people deleting their original posts just because they don’t like what they hear?

I’m gonna start cutting and pasting so it doesn’t look like I’m talking to myself all the time.  

Post # 6
Member
3265 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@GroovyHippieChick:  This is one of the few times I don’t feel jipped opening a post to see the original post gone. I managed to read it before but just didn’t have anything to say at that moment.

OP, I understand being a Type A (and a planner at that) but I would just leave everything be and let your Maid/Matron of Honor do what she’s going to do. As it was said, it’s not necessary for someone to throw you a shower. It’s a nice thing they can do IF they want.

Post # 7
Member
5662 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Love how this is gone now… You asked and people answered!

no one SHOULD do anything for you

Post # 8
Member
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Well, taking a guess at what you wrote based on comments: your Maid/Matron of Honor may surprise you.  I expected great things from my Maid/Matron of Honor because she enjoys entertaining but I got much much better than great.

Post # 9
Member
394 posts
Helper bee

A few things…

I have been throwing showers(baby & wedding) for my friends & cousin since JANUARY. One of them being as recent as last Sunday. Mostly because I am close to them or in the wedding, but also because I’m the “creative” one in the group. (I am an interior designer) So as much as I love doing things for other people, you can’t expect anything when it is being done for you. Suggestions are always welcome, but it is in somone else’e hands you don’t have much control. Also remember that even though you may be helping pay for some things, the bridal party is still paying for other things for the wedding,plus bridal shower & bachelorette festivities, their bridesmaid’s dresses..alterations..hotel..etc. 

The important thing to focus on is that this is a celebration of yours & your soon-to-be..not of who paid for what, or what game you played at your shower. The bridal showers & bachelorette parties are fun, and it is great to have all your friends around you…but it really all “fluff”. However, the main event, the finale is the wedding .Try not to lose sight of that when your controlling nature comes through. Regardless of how everything turns out, your Maid/Matron of Honor is doing this because she loves you & you love her…

Many wishes & blessings to you!! I am sure everything is going to lovely 🙂

Post # 10
Member
4284 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@GroovyHippieChick:  I totally saw what you posted! I don’t think either of our replies were mean or rude or whatever made the OP delete!

Post # 11
Member
2712 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@GroovyHippieChick:  I agree. I think you just need to let it go.  You shouldn’t be planning your own shower and you really shouldn’t have asked your Maid/Matron of Honor for one (though there’s nothing you can do about that now).  I know it’s frustrating that things are being done exactly how you want, but no one has to throw you shower.  I think the best course of action is to just be thankful for what you do have.  I’m sure it will turn out just fine and you’ll have a great time!  =)

 

EDIT:  Well I hit the submit button only to find out the the OP had deleted her post… oh well.

Post # 12
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

If you want the conversation to be over ask a mod to close it don’t delete the post

Post # 13
Member
1513 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

the post is gone, but i wanted to say that i do sympathize with OP… yes, no one is required by law to throw you a shower, but if this group of girls had thrown a similar shower for each girl, then OP is right to have expected she’d be getting the same treatment. i had one wedding i was in where the bride said no shower, so we didnt have a shower. on the opposite end, my best friend who was married this fall would have been devestated if we hadnt thrown her a shower… and so we did.

Post # 14
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@bostongirl

Well I can’t be sure of what she said because she deleted it, by what the other responses are before it got deleted,  I’m guessing she is having a shower but one that isn’t being planned the way she would want it I think.

Post # 15
Member
5075 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

@TwoCityBride:  That’s right.  She asked her Maid/Matron of Honor to throw her a shower (stating that Maid/Matron of Honor really didn’t have much interest in doing it) then went on to say that things were not being done as she (bride) expected them to be.

She also paid for some things herself (room rental, etc) and wanted to know if she should be reimbursed by bridal party.   

Post # 16
Member
1212 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@GroovyHippieChick:  thanks for the summary!! Wow, even worse then I thought from the title.

 

Noone SHOULD or HAS to throw anyone a shower. And if you think like that you probably don’t deserve one. Honestly. The reimbursing is the kicker…read something similar to that about a bach weekend earlier today…what is with people – you get to throw your WEDDING…that’s it. Back off on everything else, and be very grateful if anyone does anything for you. Unreal.  

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