(Closed) Should your FH/SO have a say on how you look on your wedding day?

posted 9 years ago in Beauty
Post # 17
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

DH did have a little bit of a say in my look– He didn’t care about my hair, but he hates makeup, so he asked if I could make sure my makeup was toned down. I wanted him to think I looked beautiful so I wanted to take his opinions into consideration. Now, I don’t know what I would have done if his opinions were not in line with my vision for my look…


ETA: DH didn’t know anything about my dress, but I know his taste, and luckily what he would want and what I wanted were very similar!

Post # 18
7382 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

Ultimately, I got to do what I wanted to do.  For me, that was to look and feel good for myself, as well as for DH.  I took his input into consideration for what I decided to do with my hair and makeup.

Post # 19
134 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would take into consideration any constructive criticism my fiance had…but all in all, I’d say it’s mostly the bride’s call.

My Fiance and I have very different tastes in some ways, so when I showed him the necklace I’m wearing, he wasn’t too fond of it. However, he did say “Well I’m not gonna be wearing it, so if you want to wear it then wear it.” Smart man, if I do say so myself 😛

Post # 20
1223 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Nope, and why should he, part of the surprise of the wedding day is your SO seeing you in your wedding attire for the first time.

Post # 21
4394 posts
Honey bee

I think ultimately its the bride’s decision, but we all want to look our best for our FH so I think it’s wise to heed their advice somewhat. Lucky for me, mine doesn’t care about things like that and just wants me to look/feel good about myself! I can’t see this being an issue for us. I do understand where your Future Brother-In-Law is coming from to an extent if she looks nothing like herself. I think they should compromise–maybe less makeup but keep the extensions or shorter extensions or something. Obviously I don’t know what her makeup looks like, but I would say she should try and tone down things like eyeliner over blush/lipstick. 

Post # 22
1076 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I’ll take his thoughts into consideration, but ultimately i’ll have the final say. He and I do not like the same dresses. Each dress I love I have shown him a pic of (they’re all similar,) he dislikes. He doesn’t HATE them, but if I find a dress I love in that style (which is a good possibility) i’ll probably get it regardless.

ETA- The same goes for him. I advised him to wear a light coloured suit, because it’ll be the middle of summer, but he wants to wear black, so he’s wearing black.

Post # 23
650 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

We always ask each other about the things that we buy/wear/etc. It’s not expected or demanded. We just value each other’s opinions. We want to look and feel good for each other.

Post # 24
759 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I don’t think he should have a say per say but if you’re marrying the man you should know what he likes and wants and marriage is about making the other person happy, so why start it with something you know your Fiance wont like?

Post # 25
6397 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2014

I actually wish he would have MORE of a say about it! I keep asking him what sort of dress he see’s me in, and all he’ll say is “well I’m not the one wearing it so pick whatever you want.” DARNIT man, I love 0250252620 dresses, at least give me an idea so I can knock some of them out!

Post # 26
165 posts
Blushing bee

Yeah, no…. When my time comes SO will think I look beautiful no matter what. It’s supposed to be a surprise too! 🙂

Post # 27
187 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

My Fiance doesn’t have any say (nor would I ask for it on this), however he likes my overall style so I’m not too worried about it. I will say though, if I did decide to share my ‘look’ for the day beforehand and he didn’t like it, I would probably try to figure out a compromise between something he likes and something I like. 

Post # 28
1337 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Fiance hasn’t seen any of my dresses (he only knows about one of them-LOL) but I will definitely include him in my hair and makeup for the day.  I’m not planning to look much different than I do on any usual day – just a little more put together.

Post # 29
992 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

He absolutely has a say; however, FH’s only comment was, “You’ll look beautiful no matter what you do. I wouldn’t care if you had on a potato sack with no makeup.” A lot of help he is, LOL.

Post # 30
2623 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Yes and no. I think this has to be to a certain extent it’s not ok for one person to dictate how their spouse looks.

For example I hate white wedding dresses, and I know my Fi would hate a grey or black. So I getting a creamy/tanish color. While I don’t want him to hate my dress, I also don’t think he needs to love it.

At the end of the day the person wearing the clothing gets more say in my opinion. However in your Future Sister-In-Law case it sounds like she went overboard and needs to tone it down, and perhaps have another trail with people who are going to match her hair better.

Post # 31
3501 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I always wear my hair down.  It’s very rare that my hair is up, when it is Fiance loves it.  I know he would prefer to see me with hair pulled back but that’s just not me.

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