(Closed) Shouldn't register for gifts for ceremony, already legally married???!

posted 6 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
939 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I don’t think there is anything wrong with making a registry.  If someone asks, let them know.  If people want to give you a gift they will, but you shouldn’t literally ASK for gifts (although, im sure you werent trying to be literal)

Post # 5
Member
1431 posts
Bumble bee

I see your logic. What exactly are you doing in December? A full blown wedding or just a reception?  A lot of people on here feel like you only get 1 wedding day, the day of you get legally married. But I think if your hosting a celebration party or full wedding then most guests are going to want to bring you a gift like any other wedding. If you feel uncomfortable with it just register and only tell people where who ask.

Post # 6
Member
939 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Well, there is a difference between making a gift registry, and flat out saying to people “please come to my reception, and also please bring me a gift, im registered at target” and making a registry and letting the people who ask about it know where you are registered.  two totally different things. one ok, one not so ok. at least, in my perspective.

Post # 7
Member
939 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

oh wait, disregard my previous post. i totally read your second post wrong! sorry!  In my defense it’s 4am!

Post # 8
Member
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I don’t see anything wrong with registering. I do think that you need to be aware of the fact that some people will think you shouldn’t register since you are technically married, regardless of logic. I’d just have it be more low-key — only give the registry info to those that ask. That way, you don’t seem gift-grabby. Those that want to gift will ask or give cash, most likely.

I also wouldn’t have any showers/bachelorettes/etc because that’s where people generally don’t agree, myself included. Not sure if you were planning to or not, but just throwing it out there that it’s generally the showers, etc, that bring the topic to a boiling point.

Post # 11
Member
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

@MrsTee:  Yeah then I think it’s fine. Register and give the info to those that ask.

Post # 12
Member
3265 posts
Sugar bee

I think it is questionable, but probably ok, if you keep it very quiet, and make sure it is only given to those that specifically ask.

You have gotten married already, and that was your wedding.  Your celebration does not have the same gift giving expectation as a wedding. 

People who wanted to send a gift for your marriage, could have already done so if they were so inclined.  So I would be careful how you spread the word.

Post # 13
Member
2589 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Registering is totally fine, but I wouldn’t do a registry card in your invites or anything. People who want to give gifts will ask.

Post # 14
Member
132 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Definitely register – most of your guests probably know your situation and would understand.  If people don’t want to use your registry, they won’t!

Post # 15
Member
814 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Register but maybe only let people know about it via word of mouth.

Post # 16
Member
28 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2012

We are doing the same thing, got married just the two of us on the beach and having a “celebration of love” on our one year anniversary for all of our friends and family. We haven’t had showers or anything but still registered and put it on our wedding website. I will be sending out the invitation with a separate note directing people to the site for directions and all other info. No direct mention of the registry but for those who want to buy us a gift it is there. To be honest this is our day with our friends and family and they all know and understand the reasoning behind it. Same for you, it is what you  feel comfortable doing. Just because you got married already doesn’t mean someone can’t give you a gift, and I as a gift giver hate picking out something I hope someone will like and use. If I love and support you and your marriage/love for each other, then I wanna get you a gift and I would appreciate you giving me a heads up. 🙂 

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