(Closed) Shouldn’t the bridesmaids pay for their own dress?

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 76
Member
2013 posts
Buzzing bee

christabel:  I feel it’s for support on one of the most important days of your life. They keep you calm, help you get ready and you get to spend pretty much the entire day with the women you love.

I asked muguet: that question because she/he posted this:

“Absolutely yes. I have no idea why people think it is the bride’s responsibility to pay for BMs. Then why have them?”

It sounded to me like muguet seems to think that a bridesmaid’s sole purpose is to buy a dress and stand there and look pretty and if they don’t pay for it then there really is no reason to have them. I could be wrong which is why I asked for clarification.

Post # 77
Member
12294 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

I happen to think a  change tradition in the US tradition is long overdue. It was based on the premise that BMs would invariably be buying new, anyway,  and that they will have input into the purchase of something they will keep and be able to wear again. Don’t even get me started on the other things  some current day brides think they deserve.

Personally, I would either pay, have a smaller party, or allow BMs to select their own before expecting them to pay for a dress they will never wear again. In fact that is what I did do. 

Post # 78
Member
29 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2015

This  thread is exactly why being a bridesmaid is the worst thing in the entire world.

Post # 79
Member
29 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2015

cl128:  I agree with you completely. 

Post # 80
Member
2890 posts
Sugar bee

This is why I’m not having a bridal party. I still don’t understand why in American etiquette your guests should never even have the option to spend one dime (ex.: cash bar no one forces them to buy from), yet you’d totally expect your bridal party to spend hundred of dollars on their attire and on the bachelorette party they’re supposed to throw you. 

Post # 81
Member
1987 posts
Buzzing bee

weddingmaven:  Agreed a thousand times over.  I do not blame women from other countries who find the standard US practice incomprehensible and abhorrent.

loverbee123:  Also agreed.

Post # 82
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: November 2016

I’ve had both situations. Two weddings I was in the bride paid for the dress, shoes, hair and make up. One I was in I paid for everything plus a wedding gift. When I get married I will budget to pay for everything. I think it may have been the tradition but more and more I’m seeing it’s very expensive to be in a wedding and I would feel guilty asking my bridesmaids and groomsmen to pay for their attire that they will never wear again because let’s face it, bridesmaids dresses are ugly no matter how you put it and overpriced. Most of my friends have kids now and asking them to shell out $400+ just to stand next to me in my wedding and make me look and feel special is unreasonable. Just how I feel about it. 

Post # 83
Member
85 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I paid for my bridesmaid’s dresses only because I was going on a trip to Asia and it was so much cheaper to get it done there custom made. It served as my bridesmaid gift already too which was great. One of my bridesmaids felt so bad she wanted to pay for the dress because she said that was her “duty” lol such a nice lady. But yes, the expectation is they pay for their own dresses unless you offer.

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