(Closed) Long engagements? Yes or no?

posted 6 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
Hostess
16213 posts
Honey Beekeeper

We had a two year, eight month engagement. It wasn’t for monetary purposes — it was so I could finish grad school. I absolutely loved the long engagement. We had so much time to enjoy being engaged, so much time to plan, so much time to make the most of that special time in life. All of our top-choice vendors were available because we were able to book so early, and we were able to really spread out planning so that we didn’t hate it, we didn’t get stressed (at least, until the week of the wedding), and we just really got to enjoy the whole process.

A long engagement was right for us. Doesn’t mean it’s right for everyone, but we would do it all over again!

Post # 4
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Different things work for different people. I personally think an engagement of 1y or 1.5yrs is ideal, but other couples make it work with longer engagements. I dont think there is a one size fits all answer

Post # 5
Member
891 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Ours is just shy of 2 years, it’s 22 months almost to the day. It’s not because of any financial reason. We just wanted to be done with school, be able to enjoy our engagement, and have a fall wedding.

Post # 6
Member
216 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I couldn’t imagine being engaged for that long….we’ve already been living together, may as well make it official….  So ours is about 8 months total; I planned all the major stuff (venue, caterer, photographer, cake, band, picked out invites) in less than 2 months.

Post # 7
Member
7339 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

We got engaged June 2010, so I guess that’s 2 years and abit before the wedding. For us it was because we have the basement to renovate so we can move in before the wedding. We are still in the midst of renovating and I can’t wait for it to be done!

I do agree with @Gemstone:  having a longer engagement is perfect for us, we are enjoying each other.

Post # 8
Member
2759 posts
Sugar bee

Our long engagement (just under 2.5 years) is due to money, but my best friend and her Fiance will end up with a 5-6 year engagement due to practical reasons – he’s in med school, she’s unemployed and they need to stay on their parents’ insurance, so they’re holding off on marriage until he’s finished.

I think it depends on the individual couple and what they’re needs/circumstances are.

Post # 9
Member
591 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Our 22 month engagement was mainly so we could save money.  I was laid off and have been pretty under-employed since we got engaged.  At first it felt like we were going to be engaged forever and it was hard not to start planning right away.  But now that we are 7 months away from the wedding, I realize that it was the best thing for us.  I’ve had tons of time to gather ideas and really think about what I want that planning has been a breeze. 

 

I think it’s whatever works for you.  People will probably make comments but it’s really not their business.

Post # 10
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Ours is 21 months and it is KILLING both of us. We just want to get over with it. Our length is because of me working on my master’s while working full time, him starting a job about 5 months ago, and financials since we decided that it was worth having a big wedding.

Personally, I think that if you can get married sooner and have the wedding you want (and can afford), then do it earlier. In My Humble Opinion, besides financials or timing (i.e. other family weddings soon, death of family member, graduations, etc.), there isn’t a reason to wait if you are engaged. If you cant commit to it right here and now, then why propose?

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