(Closed) Shower advice(a.k.a. uncooperative BM)

posted 9 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
206 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I would talk to your aunt. I mean, you are family… its not like just asking one of your friends’ mom. I’m sure with them being in high school and the first year of college that they won’t be paying for anything..it will all be their mom. It probably isn’t that they don’t want to help, they just want you to talk to their mom first about all the expenses since they really don’t have anything to do with that. Am I making sense? lol

Also with them being younger, they probably have no idea how to plan a shower or anything about weddings… so just talk to the aunt and then the aunt will tell them what to do… problem sloved! (hopefully!)

Post # 4
645 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Your bridesmaids aren’t obligated to help your Maid/Matron of Honor hold a shower. She can e-mail them and ASK if they’d like to help/and or contribute, but they get to determine to what extent. If they decide they want to help, she can describe her vision and then ask them how much they’d like to contribute.

If you do contact your aunt, it should be something like, “My Maid/Matron of Honor is throwing a shower for me and would like to know if the BMs would like to participate. She’s sent a couple of emails, but hasn’t heard anything back. Could you help her get in touch with them?

As a high school and college student, neither of them probably have a lot of excess funds. Even asking for $50 each might be a stretch. They might be avoiding your MOH’s emails because they’re not comfortable telling someone they barely know that they can’t afford it.

If your Maid/Matron of Honor and Future Mother-In-Law can’t afford the shower they’re planning, they need to scale it back.


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