Post # 1
okay, my MOH(FSIL) is wonderful, she is very involved with the wedding planning and her and my Future Mother-In-Law are planning my shower. However, i heard through the grapevine(FI told me) that my other two Bridesmaid or Best Man (one is in her first year of college and the other is a senior in high school, both my cousins and both are sisters) are being uncooperative.
My Maid/Matron of Honor has been emailing them asking for their help with plans and also needing some financial assistance. She has sent three emails with no response until today when my older cousin told her to just either contact my aunt(their mother) or my mom ‘because they would know more about this kind of stuff’.
What should I do? I know that my mother would help out but should I (of Fiance, since I am not supposed to know about any of this) speak with my aunt?
I beleive she is planning to invite about 60 people so I know that it is going to be in some sort of hall, so I know that she at least needs money for that, for decorations, food, and whatever else. Should I pitch in some money? I don’t know what to do.
Post # 3
I would talk to your aunt. I mean, you are family… its not like just asking one of your friends’ mom. I’m sure with them being in high school and the first year of college that they won’t be paying for anything..it will all be their mom. It probably isn’t that they don’t want to help, they just want you to talk to their mom first about all the expenses since they really don’t have anything to do with that. Am I making sense? lol
Also with them being younger, they probably have no idea how to plan a shower or anything about weddings… so just talk to the aunt and then the aunt will tell them what to do… problem sloved! (hopefully!)
Post # 4
Your bridesmaids aren’t obligated to help your Maid/Matron of Honor hold a shower. She can e-mail them and ASK if they’d like to help/and or contribute, but they get to determine to what extent. If they decide they want to help, she can describe her vision and then ask them how much they’d like to contribute.
If you do contact your aunt, it should be something like, “My Maid/Matron of Honor is throwing a shower for me and would like to know if the BMs would like to participate. She’s sent a couple of emails, but hasn’t heard anything back. Could you help her get in touch with them?
As a high school and college student, neither of them probably have a lot of excess funds. Even asking for $50 each might be a stretch. They might be avoiding your MOH’s emails because they’re not comfortable telling someone they barely know that they can’t afford it.
If your Maid/Matron of Honor and Future Mother-In-Law can’t afford the shower they’re planning, they need to scale it back.