Post # 1
Until the bee, I NEVER knew it to be the norm to provide a shower gift (if you’re invited) and then ALSO have a gift for the actual wedding. Where I’m from, if you’re invited to the shower, it’s just like giving your gift early. You don’t show up to the wedding with another one. So for me, my shower is in 2 weeks and whatever I get from people then, I expect to be thier only gift. Is this weird?
Also, for anyone who has declined on their rsvp, I don’t expect to get a gift from. Did I grow up in a weird place? lol
Post # 3
Yes. =P “Normal” for my area/circle is a smaller physical gift in the range of $25-$50 for shower, then cash gifts for the wedding anywhere from $100-$400. People who RSVP’ed no sent a gift also.
Post # 4
interesting—maybe my town needs an ettiquette lesson! haha
I do know that if you RSVP no to a really close friend or family member, you get them a gift. But like a friend from HS who you haven’t spoken to in years, you dont—and noone bats an eye.
Post # 5
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
I’ve always given both and I certainly received both. I’m sure these thigns might be different for different social groups and maybe in different regions, but I’ve never encountered a situation in which separate gifts were not given at both occassions.
Post # 6
Where I grew up you bought a gift off their registry $20-$60 for th shower and then either stuck money in a card or purchased another more expensive gift off their registry $50-$150 for the wedding. If you RSVP’d no you do not send a gift unless you are exceptionally close to the couple. Where I currently live it is another story all together : (
Post # 7
A shower gift and a wedding gift is the norm in my area (if you are invited to the shower). Shower gifts tend to be between $20 – $50, wedding gifts $100+. The wedding gift can be either a physical gift or cash.
Post # 8
maybe it happens, I’ve just never realized it. I havne’t been a guest at many weddings post college–and we all know college doesn’t create an environment to be etiquettly proper. haha
I guess I’ll find out here in the next two months!
Post # 9
Where I am from, both are expected. It is kind of ridiculous especially since I have been to a wedding shower, engagement party, and a wedding where I had to bring a gift to each!
Post # 10
It changes depending on area and culture. I have always given at both but the shower gifts were very small. Also in this area it is not uncommon to have a lot of people at a shower that are not invited to the wedding. The two do not go hand in hand like they do in other places. I guess what I’m saying is that nothing is ‘weird’ just different!
Post # 11
@Terryal87: I guess it all depends on area. In my area you give a gift for the shower, usually smaller than the wedding gift. The price depends on how well you know the person. Like for my coworkers I got around a $50 gift and for close friends/family like $100 and up (more if you are in the bridal party). For the wedding usually around $250 or $300 for myself and my fiancé.
ETA: wedding gifts are cash/check, shower gifts are an actual gift, and if I don’t attend the wedding usually i give $50 which is custom in thIs area.
Post # 12
Oh my yes, a gift at both AND on time please…it gets a little frustrating at times, if the registry is the stuff of the Vanderbilts…but I find that most brides to be are more than accomidating with ranges of prices and most appreciative of any gift.
Post # 13
In my circle, it is normal to gift a less expensive (preferably decorative/frivolous) gift off the registry for a shower and then to gift a nicer, pricier gift or a larger sum of cash for the wedding. It’s a tossup whether to send a gift or not if you decline to attend the shower, but for sure, if you attend, you bring a gift. For a recent Destination Wedding we attended, I gifted a $70 picture frame for the shower and then $200 from the honeymoon registry for the wedding itself.
It’s also a tossup whether to send a gift if you don’t attend the wedding. We always send a gift and it varies depending on our relationship with the couple. Typically, we try to spend about 1/2 of what we would’ve gifted had we attended the wedding. About 1/2 of our declines sent gifts/cash.
Post # 14
I bought my cousin two showers gifts(two differnt showers), and plan on doing a cash gift for the wedding. I will do the same for my other cousin next year and if my brother’s Fiance has a shower, same for her. Tis the norm here.