Post # 1
I love my sister dearly, and respect that she wants a small wedding with 25 people. However, she wants me to invite 32 people to her bridal shower! A lot are our family members and friends that she will not be inviting to her wedding.
Is is tacky to invite people to your bridal shower that wont be at the wedding? I dont want to hurt my sister’s feelings, but I also dont want to help her offend our family and friends.
Any suggestions? HELP!
Post # 3
Unless this is tradition in your family, do not do this. It is very, very rude. You should just tell her that you aren’t supposed to invite people to the shower that aren’t invited to the wedding. If she insists, I’d have her do it.
Post # 4
I agree with the previous poster. If people aren’t invited to the wedding, they shouldn’t be invited to the shower. If she REALLY wants those people there, tell her to invite them word of mouth and stress that they shouldn’t bring gifts, she just wants them there to celebrate.
Post # 5
Think of it this way, would you like to be invited to a shower but not invited to the wedding? i’m guessing the answer is no.
Post # 6
Thank you for the advice! I knew the answer, but I needed back up. I would be pissed if I was invited to a shower and not the wedding.
A lady that I work with has recommended ‘throwing a party’ -no gifts- and not calling it ‘a shower’. any opinions?
Post # 7
I’m kind of in a similiar situation! But, the only people that are coming to the are shower those that are coming to the wedding.
I’m doing something completely seperate with the ladies that aren’t coming to wedding, probably just a girls night.
Post # 8
@mittens111211: That would be perfect. But how can I tell my sister (the bride) this without having a freak out? She runs on the dramatic side…
Post # 9
@krobie24: I would tell her the truth. That it’s considered rude to invite people to the shower that aren’t coming to the wedding, it looks like she’s fishing for gifts.
If she has a problem with that, then put it on her. If she wants those people at the shower, than she needs to invite them, she needs to tell them why she wants them at the shower but not at the wedding.
Post # 10
I’ve heard of people hosting a “tea party”. Something like a luncheon for people who would like to give blessings to the couple. I would make sure the groom is there too so it is more like a small celebration rather than a shower.
Post # 11
I would say it depends on if they know they are not invitedt to the wedding ahead of time. I feel people do understand the stress and money that comes with a wedding and everyone cannot be invited. so if they know that they it can be their choice to still attend the shower or not.
one of my mom’s gf’s said to her “I know I won’t be invited to the wedding but please still invite me to the shower”
we are going to do this..there was no second thought about her being on the wedding list and are just taking it as she wants to celebrate with us.