(Closed) shower but no gifts at wedding?

posted 8 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
4430 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Bride.albertaca:  I’d do a small registry and if you already wrote your invitations, then get a stamp/sticker to add to the shower invite.

List the registries or just add the registry(s) card’s into the envelope.

I went to a shower last month where the couple already lives together, so they had minimal things on there, but everyone needs SOMETHING so just pick things you may want to upgrade. And pick enough for the guests you’re inviting (she had like 5 things on 4 different registries) AND there wasn’t enough for everyone to get, so she got gift cards...it may be nice to spruce up your kitchen or bedroom sets..

I dont think you should include that sentence. It sounds tacky.

Post # 4
980 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

You can’t tell people to get you gifts or to not get you gifts. It is totally up to them. If you keep your registry small, most likely you will get it all for your shower anyway. But I wouldn’t mention anything about gifts anywhere.

Post # 5
5976 posts
Bee Keeper

View original reply
@KitKatNYC:  I agree…

I wouldn’t mention anything about gifts anywhere. The one thing I hate when going to a wedding is when a couple tells me what I have to get them. What if I don’t want to give you money as a gift? I almost always purposefully buy the couple something if cash gifts are requested.

Post # 6
4430 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Oh by the way, you CAN put your registries in the SHOWER invite, because these should be coming from someone other than you.. (bridesmaids, mother in law, maid of honor)…so it isn’t tacky.

A shower is for close family and friends. At weddings you are HOSTING a party, noone is intitled to get you anything, not even money to make up for the food cost, although it is customary in the US to give back usually a plate cost.

In the wedding invite DO NOT put anything referring to cash or gifts.

Post # 7
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

You should have a registry.  If you say anywhere you aren’t requesting gifts for the wedding, it may come off as asking for money (even though i’m sure that’s not your intention).  Also, no one “requests” gifts ever without being rude; it’s up to gift-givers if they want to give gifts.

Post # 8
442 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Yeah, I wouldn’t refer to gifts anywhere. It’s presumed that people give gifts at the shower so I don’t think you have to ask for them for it. Can you delete the registry after the shower, before the wedding invites go out so people don’t buy gifts from it?

Post # 9
9541 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013


People bring gifts to weddings. It’s just how it is. So you need to tell them something to get you or you’ll end up with 8 thousand goats. You could do a honeymoon registry. Or find things around the house to upgrade. Or an amzon registry for random stuff around the house/yard/garage/etc. Or suggest a charity. Or whatever. But people will bring gifts to both showers and weddings so if you want things that are useful you need to tell them what to get.

Post # 10
7643 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I would do a registry and add where you are registered onto the shower invite if you have some thing you need, but do not ask for gifts or put on the invite that you need a few things. If people ask you may tell them, but don’t put that on your invite. Gifts are optional.

Post # 11
39 posts

I wouldn’t say anything about gifts for the wedding.  Guests will get you whatever they want, anyway.  Even though DH and I had a fairly large registry with varied price ranges, all of the gifts we received at the wedding were not on our registry (a couple of those guests didn’t know where we were registered, but didn’t take make any effort to find out either), which was a small amount considering the amount of guests.

Post # 12
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Do the registry for the shower and just keep it for the wedding.  People will take the hint that you prefer cash.  Additionally, some really like to give physical gifts, and you could end up with 12 toasters and a ceramic rooster without a registry.

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