(Closed) Shower etiquette? What gifts go where?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I always bring a separate gift for the shower, which I believe is traditional.  I’ve also heard that you can bring a gift to the shower and give cash for the wedding, but since I’m sure no couple would open a check and go “oh wow, $50!” I always get a gift, rather than money.

Post # 4
Member
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I agree – always a gift for the shower, and then a gift or money for the wedding. I usually give something smaller for the shower… 

Post # 5
Member
178 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

It is customary to bring a gift to the shower (lingerie, registry items, and such) for the bride to open in efforts to prepare the woman for her life in the kitchen and bedroom… that’s what I read anyways!  The shower gift does not replace the wedding gift.  Typically, if I can’t attend a wedding I’ll send a gift.  However, if I can’t make a shower I may or may not send a gift which is acceptable.  Most times if it’s someone I’m close with I will send a gift.  Hope this helps!

Post # 6
Member
354 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

My understanding has been separate parties = separate presents, and I always give a shower gift and another wedding gift. But I think there are a lot of people who agree with your mom, sister, aunt and/or cousin and only give one gift.

Post # 7
Member
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Wow, I’ve never heard of just the one gift thing!  They are separate parties!  Although among most people I know, it seems more traditional to give a GIFT at the bridal shower (off the registry usually unless it’s a lingerie theme or something) and then MONEY for the wedding, though people give wedding gifts too, money seems more common here.

Post # 8
Hostess
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I think usually you bring a small gift to the shower and then a bigger gift to the wedding.  Think dish towels for the shower and place settings for the wedding or something like that.  If it is a lingerie shower, then you bring undies to the shower and place settings to the wedding.

Post # 9
Member
5273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I had both happen, either just one gift at the shower or two gifts (one shower & one wedding) or even no gifts, haha!

What I like to do is take the $ amount that I am planning on spending and seperate it into two gifts. I just feel weird showing up empty handed so I always want to bring something!

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