(Closed) Shower Fiasco

posted 7 years ago in Full Figured
Post # 3
Member
994 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Absolutely, completely unacceptable. I’m sorry, how horrible for you. Honestly? No way would that woman be allowed at my wedding. Absolutely not.

She is no better than a racist or a homophobe. Does being a size zero make her a good person? Obviously not. Does it make her healthier? Nope. Does it make her superior to you? Nope. She needs a good kick in her ass.

 

Post # 4
Member
5778 posts
Bee Keeper

That’s a horrible thing they did to you! How DARE they?! I wouldn’t care one bit about telling your Future Father-In-Law..he should know how nasty they are if he doesn’t already. Wow.

Post # 5
Member
375 posts
Helper bee

Wow… I applaud your ability to calmly excuse yourself and go on with the shower. 

From the sound of it, FGFIL is a piece of work and probably wouldn’t apologize if you brought it up to her. Best to take the high road in situations like that and just let it go.

Post # 6
Member
6512 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Oh my good Lord!  You were very strong to not cuss her the fuck out right then and then! 

I am very sorry you had to deal with that >:(  I would tell your fiance exactly what happened, how you handled it (which was with the utmost grace, if I may say), and say that while you do not want to cause any familial stress between him and Future Father-In-Law, you cannot allow yourself to be egregiously disrespected like that, especially on a day that was in your honor (gah I’m so mad at that woman!).  Tell him you’d like to address it, and then discuss how you both think you two should go about it. 

Good luck dear, and please feel free to PM me if you ever want to talk!

Post # 7
Member
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Riot:….wow, I’m am SO sorry that happened to you.  You’re a better person than me though because I would have had to slap a bitch and curse like a sailor at these people.

I wouldn’t allow this chick anywhere near my wedding regardless of who she’s dating.  You DO NOT say things like that to someone and get away like nothing ever happened.  You bet your booty if someone said those things to me I’d probably be cutting them out of my life immediately.  Sometimes there are circumstances where you forgive and forget but in this case it really isn’t one of them.

Post # 8
Member
2192 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

OMG!

You need to tell Future Father-In-Law right away! Other ppl heard this so it won’t be like they can say you made this up.

I also wouldn’t allow them at my wedding!!!

How can you allow anyone near your wedding when you know they will be saying mean things while you are walking down the isle or something? You deserve to be nothing but relaxed and loved on your day.

I am disgusted with how they treated you.

Post # 9
Member
375 posts
Helper bee

Another thought–since it’s FI’s Aunt that hosted the shower, a relative of the Future Father-In-Law I’m presuming, perhaps she’ll say something to him? If FGFIL really has be sowing seeds of discord, anything our bride says to Future Father-In-Law is not going to come across well. If a 3rd party steps in, though, the Future Father-In-Law might actually listen.

Post # 10
Member
2107 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

WTF???  These people are awful!  Who talks to other people like that???  I am absolutely livid for you!  Have you spoken to your Fiance about this?  I know you said that you don’t want to make things harder for Fiance and his dad, but this is unacceptable.  Plus you were at a shower hosted by FI’s aunt, so you have witnesses to this kind of behaviour.  As a PP already said, maybe they could say something on your behalf.  I am so sorry that you had to put up with that kind of talk on what is supposed to be a special day for you. 

Post # 11
Member
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

ummm what the hell.  I honestly wouldn’t be able to bite my tongue in that situation.  I would have asked them to leave and wouldn’t plan on inviting them to the wedding.  Do they think this is some sort of “tough love” and that by being cruel to you,  you’ll finally magically become a size 0!  What a mess.  I would say talk to your Fiance and Future Father-In-Law and let them know what happened so at the very least you won’t be expected to be super excited about being around them. 

Post # 12
Member
955 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

OMG that is so horrible! I am so sorry they did that to you at your shower. Iwould not have been able to control myself if someone was that rude. I am sorry but when people thiink they can say things like that I put them in their place right away. They need to know that it is not ok.

Post # 13
Member
1160 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

((HUGS)) That REALLY REALLY sucks.Frown

 

I had a party at my house once for a good friend (plus sized as well) and her brother said, “What is this, a fat woman’s convention?”

 

I threw him out. She was mortified.

 

Tougher in your case since you were a guest and I totally feel for you.

Post # 14
Member
2442 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

You have to say something to them.  If you don’t , they will believe it is acceptable for them to talk to you, about you that way.  I’d tell them they hurt you and you would expect that now that they know you didn’t find any humor in their comments they would not make those types of comments again.  If they are not apologetic and or unsympathetic, then tell them though the shower was a nice gesture their hurtful comments overshadowed that gesture and you do not wish to share your time/life/events with people who are unwilling to be considerate of others and that you are unwilling to run the risk of hearing those types of comments during your prewedding and wedding events.  

Post # 15
Member
235 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I don’t have much advice, but did want to say I’m soooo sorry you had to go through that.  I don’t think anything you do will change their behavior, so it would probably just be best to avoid future interations.  It’s too bad your Future Father-In-Law doesn’t see what is going on and how his Girlfriend is behaving.

Post # 16
Member
2522 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

WHOA.  That’s beyond unacceptable.  If I were a guest and witnessed that, I’d pull them aside and tell them to either knock that sort of talk off or leave.  I’m so sorry that you endured that!

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