Post # 1
OK so my FI’s Aunt M, graciously threw a shower for me this past weekend. She made a wonderful meal that included a vegetarian entree for me and everything was truely delicious. So I got a second small helping because it was good and I was hungry and FFIL’S Girlfriend (FGFIL) threw a hissy fit in front of the whole family telling me “You will never fit into your wedding dress if you keep eating like that fatty!” I am a big girl, I know it and so does everyone else. FGFIL is a zero or double zero as are all of her daughters and daughters in laws who were right there backing her up with comments like “White looks good on blimps”, “Ooh and whales there are white whales”, and “But a big fat bride in white, YUCK!” I am not exagerating here, that was the conversation. Everyone was in so much shock that no one said anything. I excused myself to the bathroom to regain my composure and then went on with the shower without eating another bite. I really want to address this and tell them how hurt I was but I just dont know what to say. FGIL has poisoned Future Father-In-Law against Fiance and I already I dont want to make things any harder for Fiance and his dad. What do I do?
Post # 3
Absolutely, completely unacceptable. I’m sorry, how horrible for you. Honestly? No way would that woman be allowed at my wedding. Absolutely not.
She is no better than a racist or a homophobe. Does being a size zero make her a good person? Obviously not. Does it make her healthier? Nope. Does it make her superior to you? Nope. She needs a good kick in her ass.
Post # 4
That’s a horrible thing they did to you! How DARE they?! I wouldn’t care one bit about telling your Future Father-In-Law..he should know how nasty they are if he doesn’t already. Wow.
Post # 5
Wow… I applaud your ability to calmly excuse yourself and go on with the shower.
From the sound of it, FGFIL is a piece of work and probably wouldn’t apologize if you brought it up to her. Best to take the high road in situations like that and just let it go.
Post # 6
Oh my good Lord! You were very strong to not cuss her the fuck out right then and then!
I am very sorry you had to deal with that >:( I would tell your fiance exactly what happened, how you handled it (which was with the utmost grace, if I may say), and say that while you do not want to cause any familial stress between him and Future Father-In-Law, you cannot allow yourself to be egregiously disrespected like that, especially on a day that was in your honor (gah I’m so mad at that woman!). Tell him you’d like to address it, and then discuss how you both think you two should go about it.
Good luck dear, and please feel free to PM me if you ever want to talk!
Post # 7
@Riot:….wow, I’m am SO sorry that happened to you. You’re a better person than me though because I would have had to slap a bitch and curse like a sailor at these people.
I wouldn’t allow this chick anywhere near my wedding regardless of who she’s dating. You DO NOT say things like that to someone and get away like nothing ever happened. You bet your booty if someone said those things to me I’d probably be cutting them out of my life immediately. Sometimes there are circumstances where you forgive and forget but in this case it really isn’t one of them.
Post # 8
You need to tell Future Father-In-Law right away! Other ppl heard this so it won’t be like they can say you made this up.
I also wouldn’t allow them at my wedding!!!
How can you allow anyone near your wedding when you know they will be saying mean things while you are walking down the isle or something? You deserve to be nothing but relaxed and loved on your day.
I am disgusted with how they treated you.
Post # 9
Another thought–since it’s FI’s Aunt that hosted the shower, a relative of the Future Father-In-Law I’m presuming, perhaps she’ll say something to him? If FGFIL really has be sowing seeds of discord, anything our bride says to Future Father-In-Law is not going to come across well. If a 3rd party steps in, though, the Future Father-In-Law might actually listen.
Post # 10
WTF??? These people are awful! Who talks to other people like that??? I am absolutely livid for you! Have you spoken to your Fiance about this? I know you said that you don’t want to make things harder for Fiance and his dad, but this is unacceptable. Plus you were at a shower hosted by FI’s aunt, so you have witnesses to this kind of behaviour. As a PP already said, maybe they could say something on your behalf. I am so sorry that you had to put up with that kind of talk on what is supposed to be a special day for you.
Post # 11
ummm what the hell. I honestly wouldn’t be able to bite my tongue in that situation. I would have asked them to leave and wouldn’t plan on inviting them to the wedding. Do they think this is some sort of “tough love” and that by being cruel to you, you’ll finally magically become a size 0! What a mess. I would say talk to your Fiance and Future Father-In-Law and let them know what happened so at the very least you won’t be expected to be super excited about being around them.
Post # 12
OMG that is so horrible! I am so sorry they did that to you at your shower. Iwould not have been able to control myself if someone was that rude. I am sorry but when people thiink they can say things like that I put them in their place right away. They need to know that it is not ok.
Post # 13
((HUGS)) That REALLY REALLY sucks.
I had a party at my house once for a good friend (plus sized as well) and her brother said, “What is this, a fat woman’s convention?”
I threw him out. She was mortified.
Tougher in your case since you were a guest and I totally feel for you.
Post # 14
You have to say something to them. If you don’t , they will believe it is acceptable for them to talk to you, about you that way. I’d tell them they hurt you and you would expect that now that they know you didn’t find any humor in their comments they would not make those types of comments again. If they are not apologetic and or unsympathetic, then tell them though the shower was a nice gesture their hurtful comments overshadowed that gesture and you do not wish to share your time/life/events with people who are unwilling to be considerate of others and that you are unwilling to run the risk of hearing those types of comments during your prewedding and wedding events.
Post # 15
I don’t have much advice, but did want to say I’m soooo sorry you had to go through that. I don’t think anything you do will change their behavior, so it would probably just be best to avoid future interations. It’s too bad your Future Father-In-Law doesn’t see what is going on and how his Girlfriend is behaving.
Post # 16
WHOA. That’s beyond unacceptable. If I were a guest and witnessed that, I’d pull them aside and tell them to either knock that sort of talk off or leave. I’m so sorry that you endured that!