(Closed) Shower gift etiquette! Need help…need money but dont know how to put it!

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: How should I do this?
    Create a house warming theme shower without the registry? : (2 votes)
    10 %
    register at a furniture store and hope to get gift certificates that will help furnish the house? : (7 votes)
    33 %
    have family members quietly spread the word that we need cash? : (11 votes)
    52 %
    have a monetary themed party like the one my aunt went to? : (1 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    458 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Hmm, I don’t think it’s nice to ask for money, but I understand that you don’t need the extra stuff…I’m not sure how to handle this. Maybe ask for gift cards? The money tree is cute but I just don’t know if people will be offended…I know my family would be upset. Sorry girl 🙁

    Post # 4
    Member
    1774 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    I usually give a gift for the shower and either money or a gift for the wedding.  For the wedding itself you can discreetly spread the word about wanting cash, but for the shower, the point of it is to open up gifts and for the guests to get to watch.  I would be offended if I were invited to a shower and suggested to get money.  My relatives would be livid.

    Post # 6
    Member
    5800 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I really don’t have any suggestions. Bridal showers are ALL about opening gifts. You can manage to get cash for your wedding by not registering but showers are a completely different animal. It would never even cross my mind to give someone $ at a shower.

    Maybe register somewhere that you can return everything for store credit?

    Post # 7
    Member
    1774 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    Your options according to etiquette are to register for anything you do want or take a gamble and see what you get otherwise.

    Post # 8
    Member
    577 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    yeah, I don’t think you can ask for cash at a shower.  The whole point is for people to give you things that you can open.  I’ve never been at a shower where someone has gotten money or even giftcards.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1927 posts
    Buzzing bee

    If you only want cash, I don’t think you should be having a bridal shower.  As the others said the whole point of a shower is to watch the bride opening gifts.  There is no polite way to do this.  I also would be REALLY offended if I was invited to a shower and it was even suggested that I should give money.

    Post # 9
    Member
    6597 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Showers are for tangible gifts – I really don’t think there is any way around it! If you don’t want tangible gifts I suggest not having a shower!

    Sorry!

    But if your shower registry is small (not much left over for the wedding) then that will encourage more monetary gifts at the wedding!

    When I was a Bridesmaid or Best Man for my BF’s wedding she lived far away and didn’t really want tangible gifts because transport would be hard. So she listed that she was registered at a store but wasn’t actually registered for anything. This resulted in a lot of Gift Cards for that store, gift cards for other stores, some random (hideous) gifts that she left at her parents house LOL, and a small amount of money! To give you an idea

    Post # 10
    Member
    1509 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    Honestly, it is inappropriate to ask for cash as a wedding present.  It would be even more so inappropriate to ask for cash as a shower gift. While some people give cash as wedding gifts, most if not all people give gifts at a shower since they are actually opened up in front of everyone.  Traditionally, a shower is to shower the bride to be with her trousseau or goods for the house she will share with her husband to be….

    Post # 11
    Member
    226 posts
    Helper bee

    As nice as it would be to recieve cash and I understand that you guys dont need anything else… but it’s a gift. You cant dictate what you get. Its other people GIVING you someting… and while its ncie when people give you what you want. A gift is a gift and they arent obligated to give you anything.

    I hate getting things I dont want or need but I realize that someone put thought in to it and they arent required to give me anything.. be it a shower, wedding, or birthday.

    Good luck and I hope you have a lovely shower!

    Post # 12
    Member
    2866 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Yeah I’d skip on the shower if you only wanted monetary gifts. The point of the shower is to get physical presents before the actual wedding (so no one has to worry about transporting them to and from the wedding). At best register for some home accesories and you’ll have to store things.

    Post # 13
    Member
    529 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    I agree with the other posters.  The whole point of a shower is for the actual gifts.  You can’t ask or even hope to get any money at these.  If you’re looking for just money, your best bet would be to skip the shower altogether and hope people include more money in their wedding gifts to you.

    Post # 14
    Member
    499 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    Another vote for the fact that there’s no elegant way to do this. The best you can do is register somewhere that you’d like store credit later. And tell the shower planner your dilemma. That way if anyone asks what to get you, they can be told. Otherwise, best to have a registry to catch the more traditional folks.

    Post # 15
    Member
    499 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    Nothing to see here. Please move along. La la la, you can’t see this!

    The topic ‘Shower gift etiquette! Need help…need money but dont know how to put it!’ is closed to new replies.

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