(Closed) shower gift VS wedding gift

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
2098 posts
Buzzing bee

I think its ridiculous so I don’t go to showers unless I’m in the bridal party 😛 And no, I’m not having a shower for the same reason. One present should be enough!

Post # 3
Member
297 posts
Helper bee

I think giving a small gift for the shower and larger gift from registry for wedding would be fine… It gets so expensive! I’ve ordered gifts from the registry and sent them in advance right to their house or brought them to a shower.. And those were my gifts for the wedding! 

Post # 4
Member
297 posts
Helper bee

vintagekitten:  +1

yep I also didn’t have a shower for that reason. One gift should be enough 🙂

Post # 5
Member
1060 posts
Bumble bee

Typically I’ve given smaller gifts for the shower (towel set, cookware, etc) I don’t usually spend more than $50. This depends also on who the shower is for. Good friends & family are likely to get more. The wedding gift is almost always cash. 

I almost never buy from the registry. 

Post # 6
Member
932 posts
Busy bee

I typically get a gift from the registry or a fun date basket for the shower. Usually I spend about $25 for this gift, more if it is someone I’m closer with. For the wedding I will get something from the registry too but spend up to $50 for that gift. If it is a really good friend or sibling we will spend more on a wedding gift- up to $100.

Post # 7
Member
5886 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

socalgirl1689:  In my family (Italian!) it’s traditional to give a gift from the registry for the shower and a cash gift at the wedding.  2 parties, 2 gifts.  

I believe that it’s pretty standard across the USA to give a registry gifts at the shower, but there could be some regional difference.  The personal items you mentioned are the kind of thing I’ve seen given at a bachelorette, although most in my circle don’t give a gift at a bach at all since they are paying their own way.

Post # 8
Member
7199 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

socalgirl1689:  Nope. You can give a personal gift to the bride (usually something somewhat sexy or pampering like a robe, lingerie or lotions) or a gift from the registry. I’ve had two showers (so far) and only got two “personal” gifts… one was given along with a gift from the registry and another was a sort of sexy date night basket with a teddy, lotion, massage oil, candels, wine & some nice wine glasses. But yeah– waaaaay more registry gifts. The only difference for me is I generally buy a smaller registry gift ($40-$60) for a shower and a larger one ($100+) for the wedding. 

Post # 9
Member
4100 posts
Honey bee

socalgirl1689:  The norm in my family is to give a gift off of the registry for the shower, and a card with cash for the wedding. So that’s what I do 🙂

Post # 10
Member
8864 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

socalgirl1689:  I give separate gifts. If I’m close with the bride, like a girlfriend, I might give her something personal. Usually though, it’s a cousin or something and I buy from their registry. I usually figure my total budget for that couple and spend around 30-40% on the shower gift, then the rest on the wedding present. So the two events are no more expensive than one.

Post # 11
Member
2805 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

In my circle you give a separate bridal shower gift ($50-100), wedding gift($50+ per person depending on relation), and a small bachelorette gift ($25). The shower gift is usually a home item, wedding gift is cash, and bachelorette gift is usually an intimates item, perfume, lotion, etc. Weddings can be expensive here if you are invited to all three events. 

You may not be wrong on how you gifted your friend. I would ask someone close to you, how they do it. Not all countries, cultures, regions or social circles have the same mind set. Which is why you are likely to receive several different responses to this question. 

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 1 month ago by  smoocheepoo.
Post # 12
Member
47203 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’ve never given a personal gift to the bride like lotions, candles, or items she can use for her wedding like a garter or getting ready robe at a wedding shower. The garter and robe in particular should be left to the bride to choose somehing that is to her taste.

Here shower gifts are smaller gifts for the home like tea towels, bath towels, kitchen items etc , unless the shower has a theme like wine, time of day, date night etc.

Wedding gifts are larger gifts off the registry or cash/cheque.

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Post # 13
Member
6766 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I believe the purpose of bridal showers was typically to help the bride acquire all the things needed to set up a new home. In that spirit I typically give something off the registry. I have been to lingerie showers, etc., but those were often for more established brides who already had homes and were clearly described as such on the invitation. 

I generally give cash or a larger gift for the couple at the wedding.

Post # 14
Member
454 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I never even heard about giving registry gifts for a wedding until I came on this website. On long Island and nyc registry is strictly for the shower and you give cash or check for the wedding. And of course you give gifts for both. I spend bout 50 for showers up to 75 for a good friend or family on a gift from ths registry, and 150 per attendee for wedding gift so between my husband and me thats $300 for wedding gift. I would definitely just check with other people who are going and see what they plan on giving. It’s safer than asking people on the internet who don’t know your regional cukture. 

Post # 15
Member
70 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

In my area it is typically a household gift, usually off the registry, for the shower, since the purpose of the shower is to help the couple set up house, and wedding gifts are often cash. 

The topic ‘shower gift VS wedding gift’ is closed to new replies.

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