(Closed) Shower guests list and wedding guest lists–do they match?

posted 7 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’ve always heard that if someone is invited to your shower, it means they need to be invited to the wedding. If someone else is throwing the shower for you, you should have a hand in picking the guests because of that reason.

Post # 4
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Personally I would feel horrible having someone invited to my shower but not wedding. My mom has a ton of friends who have no intention of coming to my wedding but that want to give me presents (weird but I’ll take it!) so they will be invited to the shower. If theres nothing you can do about it than just try not to worry about it but if you can try to have your voice heard on the guest list.

As far as your Future Sister-In-Law how does your FH feel about you not wanting his sister at the wedding?

Post # 5
Member
629 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

If you know that there are people who wouldn’t come to the wedding but would come to the shower, then I think that’s probably ok…but if you know that they would come to the wedding then I wouldn’t invite them to the shower if you don’t plan on inviting them to the wedding.  If your in-laws are making a big deal out of having all of their people there though, I wouldn’t stress over it.  Pick your battles so you don’t get stresseed.  Smile

Post # 7
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

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Your guest list to the wedding is supposed to match the shower.

That being said….mine didnt. My Future Mother-In-Law had hosted and she invited about 7 people that were not even on our C list.

The invites for the shower go well after the stds for the wedding. The shower should be fairly close to the wedding so you have a more solidified list.

Post # 8
Member
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Just give those “throwing” the showers your guest list. Tell them, point blank, that those are the people getting invites and others should not. If THEY mess up this, and commit a faux pas, then you’ve got to have a talk with them about how you explicitly told them how many people you were planning to have at your wedding.

Post # 9
Member
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@oneloveRicherPrice: “There are alot of reasonings that I have to come to the conclusion that I will be planning my own bridal shower and bachelorette party”  Are you throwing your own shower??  Isn’t that kind of an etiquette faux pas?

Post # 11
Member
1749 posts
Bumble bee

@oneloveRicherPrice:If they are close enough to spend their money and buy you a gift then they are close enough to attend the wedding. If you accept gifts you should invite them. If you choose not to it will appear you are begging for gifts and the friendships are one sided. You should express this to your Mother-In-Law.

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