(Closed) Shower invite but no wedding invite?

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
636 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I think that you are right.

Post # 4
557 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@badabing88:  I would say that if the couple is planning a small intimate wedding with only close family and friends, then its ok. otherwise it’s just rude. Like you’re good enough to give them a gift but not to actually be in the wedding.

Post # 5
2696 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Anyone who is invited to a shower, engagement party, or bachelor/bachelorette party must be invited to the wedding.  The only exception would be work/church/club showers.

Anyone who received an STD must be invited to the wedding.

So the couple was rude on two accounts.  Perhaps your invite was lost in the mail?  Has the wedding happened?

Post # 6
7122 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

You were sent the save the date as well? TBH I would have thought the invite got lost and asked the bride about it. Not to be snarky to her but after being invited to the shower and getting a save the date I honestly would have thought the invite got lost!

I agree that you typically don’t invite someone to a shower unless they are also invited to the wedding.

Post # 7
45658 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I always thought that the bride’s parents didn’t host a shower.

Make that wrong on 3 accounts.


Post # 9
13 posts
  • Wedding: September 2013

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Post # 10
4416 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Yeah that’s a definite no-no! The implication is “you’re good enough to buy me a gift but not good enough for me to host at my wedding.” I agree with PP that it sounds like the invite may have gotten lost in the mail! This is a situation where I would 100% ask the bride, since if you really weren’t invited to the wedding, then the hosts were the rude ones, not you.

Post # 12
9 posts

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Post # 13
3 posts
  • Wedding: June 2009

You can invite guests to the wedding but not invite them to the shower, but you should not invite to the shower if you aren’t inviting to the wedding.  And anyone who gets a save the date should definitely get a wedding invitation.

Post # 14
33 posts
  • Wedding: July 2011

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Post # 16
444 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013 - rolling hills of southern italy

@badabing88:  think you are right… Are you sure you aren’t invited to the wedding? Mine is 57 days away and my invites are half finished on my kitchen table still.

Oh, just saw it is in a week. Never mind! Naughty bride! I’d call to clarify, but be understanding of her side of things. Maybe she likes having you around, but had space limitations and didnt know about the bee for etiquette 

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