Post # 1
I know I’ll be having at least two showers. My bridesmaids are throwing one and my FI’s mom and sister said they would like to throw one. I love that these people want to throw me a shower and celebrate with me. Today a bridesmaid asked who I’d like to invite. That’s when I realized that I have a problem.
The bridesmaid party will be very young (I’m 24) and will have lots of friends. FI’s mom’s shower will be more reserved and mainly consist of FI’s older aunts and cousins.
I will definitely put FI’s mom and sister on the shower the bridesmaids are hosting, but I don’t know what to do about my aunts and female cousins. You see, I’m from a family where weddings aren’t a huge deal and, therefore, neither are bridal showers. Most of my aunts live at least 6 hours away from me. I know my side of the family is not going to be throwing a shower (and I don’t expect them to). But I don’t know if FI’s mom and sister planned on inviting them to the shower they are throwing. I’d feel weird not inviting my female relatives to anything and then them finding out I had not one, but two showers.
So my question is, should I add them to my invite list for the shower my bridesmaids are throwing or should I suck it up, feel slightly awkward, and ask if FI’s mom planned on inviting my fam?
NOTE: Two cousins will be invited to the bridesmaid shower. They are on my dad’s side of the family and still live in our hometown. My aunts and cousins on my mom’s side are all older (I’m the baby) and live hours away.
Post # 3
I would ask your FI’s mom to invite them to her shower.
Post # 4
Well, this is rather sticky. I’d talk to Future Mother-In-Law and see what she thinks (if she’s like mine she’ll be like OMG YES! They should definitely come! She’s a more the merrier kinda gal). Hopefully you and she have a good relationship and you won’t feel TOO awkward doing this – or, you could see if your mom and Future Mother-In-Law want to co-host your ‘family shower.’ I have a feeling that’s what my mom and Future Mother-In-Law will be doing so that women from both families can come. Just a thought!
Post # 5
I tried to separate my guest list because I didn’t want too many people at one shower and I got lots of compliants from my family for doing this. My Dad’s mom and sister were upset that they were invited to the FMIL’s shower and not the one that my mom’s friends/family were hosting.
I would talk to your parents to see what they suggest doing. You hate for there to be hurt feelings.
Post # 6
i only invited local people to the shower my fmil is throwing (with the only exceptions being my mom and out of town bridesmaids). i don’t think other out of towners, even family, would feel slighted if they weren’t invited, and i think it’s too much to ask for them to come in more than once. but, that’s just my situation.
Post # 7
I’m only inviting female relatives I’m actually close to. Are you close to these aunts? I would ask your Future Mother-In-Law if they can go to that shower.
Post # 8
I am close to my aunts but they live so far away that I don’t get to see them as much as I’d like. However, I talked to my Future Mother-In-Law when I picked my dog up from her house tonight (my and FI’s week of intense overtime is Ginny’s chance to play with Uncle Snoopy) I asked about inviting the aunts and she said its no problem at all and that she’d be happy to invite them all.
Thanks for the opinions everyone!
Post # 9
Good I am glad it all worked out for you!