Post # 1
I am planning a shower for a bride. She gave me a list of people to invite and it was more than I expected. She put every female wedding guest on the list. Many of these women live out of state. I’ve always felt that only close female friends and family should be invited to a shower, not people who live a plane ride away. Should I send an invite to the people who live so far away that I know would not come? Or should I just go with the list she wants? For some reason I feel a little embarrased sending an invite to people so far out of state.
I’d also like to add that I would like to host the shower at my home, but with the list she gave me it is way too many people. She said she thought about half would come, but I feel like I need to plan the venue around the # of people I invite, not the amount I think will attend?
Post # 2
I would go back to the bride and ask her why she wants to invite all of the out of state people. If she feels just because they are invited to the wedding she should invite them try explaining to her that you would like to host the shower at your house and would feel more comfortable doing so with a smaller list. I wouldn’t just not invite the people she has on the list without speaking to her about it first. She’s probably right about only half the people coming because most of the out of state people (2+hours away) invited to my shower aren’t coming.
Post # 3
HoneysHoney: I think you should ask the bride to cut down the list. At the same time, there are some people who are both on my wedding list and were invited to my shower who I knew would not attend. We invited my aunt in FL (I live in Iowa) The last time she visited was before I was dating my FI. We invited her more as a “wish you could attend” than actually planning on her attending.
I would sit down with your bride and talk aobut cutting the list a bit, but I would focus more on the females that are just invited as dates instead of people living far away. The co-workers date should get the axe before the aunt who lives cross country.
Post # 4
HoneysHoney: I agree: you need to plan for each person you invite, even if you think they will not come. We all know there will be some people who won’t- but you still need to plan for it.
There’s absolutely no reason to be embarrassed to send an invite to someone who lives far away- that sounds silly to me. BUT, if you can’t afford to host that many people, I would talk to her about that. Just be honest with her– and explain to her that even though you know some of the out of towners won’t come….what if they do? Your house won’t accomodate everyone and you can’t afford to rent a restaurant. Does she really want to invite all of those people….? Because on second though– it seems more like she is gift-grabbing LOL
Post # 5
I was offered two showers, both times the hostesses came to me at the outset and said “I can handle 20″ or I can handle 40” or whatever – and I created the list accordingly. Where I’m from showers are almost exclusively hosted in a home and aren’t huge affairs. I think you should go to her and say “this is how many I am able to host” and let her work her list from there.
Not every female invited to the wedding must be invited to the shower!
Post # 6
HoneysHoney: several of my BMs got together to throw one large shower, and i invited all of the female guests on my list. not sure if they will all come, but since i’m only having one shower, i felt like it was appropriate.
maybe its not? lord i hope i didn’t overwhelm my friends!