Post # 1
This is just a general question as my Maid/Matron of Honor has already sent out the invites to my shower. I gave her a list of all the ladies invited to my wedding for the shower. It is my understanding that all women invited to a wedding be invited to the shower. Maid/Matron of Honor invited all of my FIs friends and family to the shower, not expecting them all to come, but because I did not want anyone to feel left out and start unneccessary drama.
Fiance found out that all his side was invited and thinks I was in the wrong. He seems to think that I should only invite those close to me since he doesnt think that the people on his side that dont know me well would want to come. I told him that they arent required to come, but that I thought it was a kind gesture and that I did not want to exclude anyone.
FWIW, my bachelorette party is that night, but not everyone knows or is invited…only close friends and family (included FIs sisters, best mans fiancee, etc.). Also, I would never expect those who dont come to send a gift, so its not about being gift grabby either.
So Bees…who is right in this situation??
Post # 3
@stranger1: I don’t know the etiquette rules on this one, but I think it should be whatever you are comfortable with (sorry, not much help). I think it depends on the size of your guest list.
MY Maid/Matron of Honor wanted to invite all women from my guest list, but my guest list is 300 people so, hosting a shower for about 150 would not be easy for her.
My experience with showers have been small, intimate experiences (especially when friends gift lingerie). So my shower list is about 20 women: women family members that live close by, college and grad school friends that live near and far, and my Future Mother-In-Law (which is symbolic b/c she lives on the other side of the country and I don’t expect her to travel for 2 events). I’m not inviting other future in-laws that live half way around the country.
I do think it was a nice gesture for you to invite your Future In-Laws though. For me and my list size, that was just not an option and it’s okay. Your fiance shouldn’t worry too much, if people feel “awkward” about coming, they won’t attend. And he’s not planning it nor attending, so he should be fine.
Post # 4
I think you were very kind to invite everyone and I believe that is traditional if they all live nearby. They aren’t obligated to give you gifts if they don’t come so I see no awkwardness.