(Closed) Shower is tomorrow and FMIL is in the hospital

posted 8 years ago in Family
  • poll: Shower date

    Keep it tomorrow

    Reschedule it for after the wedding so it can be properly planned again

    Reschedule it for the weekend before the wedding

    Cancel it

  • Post # 3
    13561 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    I think your Mother-In-Law would want you to go along with the shower. I know that your heart and mind will be with her. The shower is only a few hours, and it will probably help alleviate the feeling of helplessness you likely have — because really at this point, there’s not much you can do expect wish her well (pray if that’s your thing) and offer emotional support.

    Don’t forget that your wedding (and the associated festivities) are a big deal to your Future Mother-In-Law too. She wants you and her son to be happy and enjoy this time. Spending one afternoon celebrating your upcoming marriage doesn’t make you a bad person, nor will it stop you from being there for your Future Mother-In-Law.

    My prayers are with your family!

    Post # 4
    353 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @RMBsbride:  Hello! My thoughts go out to your Future Mother-In-Law mine has health problems too and we also worry about her.


    This is a tough one, on one hand you want to be there for her and have her involved in the shower, on the other you already have Out of Town guests coming and it would be very short notice to cancel. 


    I think if I were you I would talk to my Future Mother-In-Law directly and explain to her that you want her to be at your shower and you feel awful she’s in the hospital, but you’re also concerned about cancelling the shower because of Out of Town guests and the short notice. If she encourages you to keep the shower for tomorrow then I say go for it and maybe afterwards go visit her in the hospital with pictures and give her all the girly details. If she seems really disappointed and you don’t think it’s a big deal for your Out of Town guests then I say reschedule it. 


    Personally if I had to reschedule my shower I wouldn’t make it the weekend before the wedding (only because you will be crazy busy) and I wouldn’t do one after the wedding either. This is totally my opinon and I don’t mean to be rude at all, but I think a bridal shower post wedding seems a bit tacky, like an excuse for more presents. 

    Post # 5
    9129 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    Keep it for tomorrow but go visit her after the shower and bring her some flowers or a card.  I am sure she will understand.

    Post # 6
    10627 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2011

    If you reschedule she will just feel guilty.  Save her some shower food if she’s able to eat it, bring her a favour after the shower and tell her about it afterwards.

    Post # 7
    7641 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I think you shoud keep it, and when your mother in law is feeling better, you and she can go out for a nice girls day together to the spa or something 🙂

    Post # 8
    13561 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    View original reply
    @megz06:  I love that idea! Quality time together plus I’m sure her Future Mother-In-Law could use some relaxation after all of this stress and worry.

    Post # 10
    6013 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I’d keep it tomorrow.  It will keep you busy and your mind off things.  I love the idea of spending some time with her after her testing is over.  She would probably love a relaxing day.  I’m sure she doesn’t want you to call it off, she’d probably rather not having a ton of people sitting around the hospital waiting room all day just worrying. 

    Post # 11
    2436 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    It isn’t as though not having the shower will help anything. I think it would be good for you guys to pass a couple of hours during the day, and then be with your Future Mother-In-Law after the testing, when you might actually be of some use/get some answers.

    Post # 12
    906 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    I know it may be a longshot, but if she’s feeling up for it and the hospital has the technology you could possibly Skype her in so she can at least sort of participate. I’ve been Skyped into get-togethers before and it really helped me feel included, despite being hundreds of miles away. 

    Post # 13
    110 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Keep it for tomorrow. At this point they are just doing testing and I’m sure if you lost out on your shower it would make your Future Mother-In-Law very sad. Thoughts and prayers for her! 

    Post # 14
    11259 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2012

    i’m sure that your fmil would not want you cancelling or postponing the shower.  enjoy your shower and go visit her in the hospital afterwards.

    Post # 15
    904 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    My Future Mother-In-Law was in the hospital over the Christmas holiday, and she insisted we go on with our dinner and gift-opening plans without her.  We still felt bad, though, so we used FaceTime to include her in the gift-opening.  Maybe you could do the same?  Both parties just need to have a new-ish Apple device and Internet access.  Skype is another option.

    Post # 16
    2025 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I wouldn’t change your schedule for your shower. There will always be someone who can’t make some event of your wedding and you just have to go with what the majority can do.

    However, I would definitely see if you can make a trip in before or after the shower where you two can have a moment and open gifts privately, or even just spend time and recap the day’s events. Take some pictures and bring them with to show her and tell her all about it. 🙂 That way she can still feel apart of the day, AND it should help take her mind off the fact that she’s in the hospital. I’m sure her nerves are a wreck right now.

    Happy thoughts to your family!!

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