Post # 1
I need some advice.. Future Mother-In-Law is going to be admitted into the hospital for testing/observation. (TMI potential: she was constipated for days, took a laxitive, and then had lots of blood in her stools. Because there’s quite a history of colon cancer in her fam, they want to check things out thoroughly.) Fiance and I are worried and sending so many thoughts and prayers her way.
The tough part is I don’t know if I should cancel/reschedule my shower or not. It’s tomorrow. The wedding is in a few weeks so it’s not like we could reschedule easily unless we did it post-wedding, especially because I have family coming in from out of town today for the shower tomorrow. The only open wknd before the wedding is literally the wknd before the wedding. It doesn’t give much notice to Out of Town guests and my understanding is that wknd is usually a crazy hectic one anyway for most brides getting last minute stuff together.
Everybody keeps telling me to keep the shower plan as is and they’re sure she’d tell me the same thing but I just feel so guilty doing that. What should I do? :/
Post # 3
I think your Mother-In-Law would want you to go along with the shower. I know that your heart and mind will be with her. The shower is only a few hours, and it will probably help alleviate the feeling of helplessness you likely have — because really at this point, there’s not much you can do expect wish her well (pray if that’s your thing) and offer emotional support.
Don’t forget that your wedding (and the associated festivities) are a big deal to your Future Mother-In-Law too. She wants you and her son to be happy and enjoy this time. Spending one afternoon celebrating your upcoming marriage doesn’t make you a bad person, nor will it stop you from being there for your Future Mother-In-Law.
My prayers are with your family!
Post # 4
@RMBsbride: Hello! My thoughts go out to your Future Mother-In-Law mine has health problems too and we also worry about her.
This is a tough one, on one hand you want to be there for her and have her involved in the shower, on the other you already have Out of Town guests coming and it would be very short notice to cancel.
I think if I were you I would talk to my Future Mother-In-Law directly and explain to her that you want her to be at your shower and you feel awful she’s in the hospital, but you’re also concerned about cancelling the shower because of Out of Town guests and the short notice. If she encourages you to keep the shower for tomorrow then I say go for it and maybe afterwards go visit her in the hospital with pictures and give her all the girly details. If she seems really disappointed and you don’t think it’s a big deal for your Out of Town guests then I say reschedule it.
Personally if I had to reschedule my shower I wouldn’t make it the weekend before the wedding (only because you will be crazy busy) and I wouldn’t do one after the wedding either. This is totally my opinon and I don’t mean to be rude at all, but I think a bridal shower post wedding seems a bit tacky, like an excuse for more presents.
Post # 5
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
Keep it for tomorrow but go visit her after the shower and bring her some flowers or a card. I am sure she will understand.
Post # 6
If you reschedule she will just feel guilty. Save her some shower food if she’s able to eat it, bring her a favour after the shower and tell her about it afterwards.
Post # 7
I think you shoud keep it, and when your mother in law is feeling better, you and she can go out for a nice girls day together to the spa or something 🙂
Post # 8
@megz06: I love that idea! Quality time together plus I’m sure her Future Mother-In-Law could use some relaxation after all of this stress and worry.
Post # 9
Thanks for the advice, ladies. I think you’re all right.
“Spending one afternoon celebrating your upcoming marriage doesn’t make you a bad person, nor will it stop you from being there for your Future Mother-In-Law.” Thanks, gemstone.. I really needed to hear that…
Post # 10
I’d keep it tomorrow. It will keep you busy and your mind off things. I love the idea of spending some time with her after her testing is over. She would probably love a relaxing day. I’m sure she doesn’t want you to call it off, she’d probably rather not having a ton of people sitting around the hospital waiting room all day just worrying.
Post # 11
It isn’t as though not having the shower will help anything. I think it would be good for you guys to pass a couple of hours during the day, and then be with your Future Mother-In-Law after the testing, when you might actually be of some use/get some answers.
Post # 12
I know it may be a longshot, but if she’s feeling up for it and the hospital has the technology you could possibly Skype her in so she can at least sort of participate. I’ve been Skyped into get-togethers before and it really helped me feel included, despite being hundreds of miles away.
Post # 13
Keep it for tomorrow. At this point they are just doing testing and I’m sure if you lost out on your shower it would make your Future Mother-In-Law very sad. Thoughts and prayers for her!
Post # 14
i’m sure that your fmil would not want you cancelling or postponing the shower. enjoy your shower and go visit her in the hospital afterwards.
Post # 15
My Future Mother-In-Law was in the hospital over the Christmas holiday, and she insisted we go on with our dinner and gift-opening plans without her. We still felt bad, though, so we used FaceTime to include her in the gift-opening. Maybe you could do the same? Both parties just need to have a new-ish Apple device and Internet access. Skype is another option.
Post # 16
I wouldn’t change your schedule for your shower. There will always be someone who can’t make some event of your wedding and you just have to go with what the majority can do.
However, I would definitely see if you can make a trip in before or after the shower where you two can have a moment and open gifts privately, or even just spend time and recap the day’s events. Take some pictures and bring them with to show her and tell her all about it. 🙂 That way she can still feel apart of the day, AND it should help take her mind off the fact that she’s in the hospital. I’m sure her nerves are a wreck right now.
Happy thoughts to your family!!