(Closed) shower no more

posted 10 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
513 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Do you love your aunt? Meaning are you two really close?

Even if she is or isn’t throwing a shower for you- I think I would invite her anyways. Well- unless your friends who are throwing it for you, would prefer not to invite her… You know how friends are. They have certain ‘ideas’ on how they want to throw your shower that maybe they wouldn’t want your family to really know– let alone be a part of. If you catch my drift.

Post # 4
754 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

Are you inviting your aunt to your wedding?  If so, yes, she should be invited to the shower.  I suppose I don’t really understand your post.  You were OK with letting her throw you the shower, but now that she’s not, she isn’t close enough to you to invite to the shower your Bridesmaid or Best Man are throwing?

Post # 5
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

Why hasn’t she said anything?  Maybe she wants you to talk to her about it, maybe she doesn’t want to presume anything now that you are really getting married.  I think you shoud stop assuming and talk to her!  And yes, you should invite her to your shower if your BM’s end up throwing it for you.

Post # 7
2022 posts
Buzzing bee

Maybe it is a surprise??

We threw a surprise shower for my sister.  It’s possible!  Maybe give your friend who offered to throw you the shower your aunt’s email and she can do some reserach.

Post # 8
52 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

Personally, I think that its a little strange for a non-BM family member to host a shower (makes it seem like your friends didn’t want to get you presents, but your family is asking for people to give you presents). I would be happy that your Bridesmaid or Best Man have brought up the shower and have them host!

Post # 9
225 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

If your aunt is invited to the wedding, she should really be invited to the shower, regardless of her backing out of the wedding. Is it really worth starting a family problem?

Post # 10
2324 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

You honestly wouldn’t invite her to your shower just because she decided to not host one? First off, close family members shouldn’t host showers anyway. Second, you said "years" then you said "when you got engaged". If you’ve been engaged for awhile, maybe she simply changed her mind or maybe her financial situation has changed in this crappy economy. 

Post # 11
1276 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with aunts hosting a bridal shower…I think the rule is that it shouldn’t be a mom or a sister, though I don’t think it really matters.  In either case, I’m totally unclear on why you don’t want your aunt there.  I personally think you should invite her, but I guess if it’s friends only then you’re not obligated to do so.

Post # 12
2022 posts
Buzzing bee

I don’t see anything wrong with the Aunt hosting, if that is what she wants to do.  The shower is traditionally thrown by the bridesmaids, but my mom and aunt helped me greatly when I threw my sister’s shower. 

I can’t think of any reason why she should not be invited to your shower even if she does not host it.

Post # 13
2640 posts
Sugar bee

It sounds like after saying she’d host, you are mad that she (perhaps) backed out.  So mad that you wouldn’t want to invite her to the shower?

1. Maybe it is a surprise.

2. Maybe something in her life has come up to change the situation.

3.  It is probably better to have the BMs throw it anyway.  I don’t think it is way off base for family to throw showers (happens a lot today), but is traditionally frowned upon.  It comes across like a family member is trying to better the status of their family by asking for gifts. 

4.  I’m not sure that I understod that posters that said if she’s invited to the wedding she should be invited to the shower.  Just to be clear, people invited to the shower are to be invited to the wedding.  Not everyone invited to the wedding needs to be invited to the shower.  Showers should only be about 40 ppl.  Otherwise it looks like a second gift grab for the bride.  With that said, she should make your short list, because she’s your aunt.  And it sounds like you were close enoughto her to put her on that list until she backed out of hosting.

Invite her.

Post # 14
5822 posts
Bee Keeper

I would talk to her about the shower.  Then ask her if she would like to come to the one your BMs are throwing.  You’ll be able to read all over her face if she wants to throw one herself.

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