(Closed) Shower Question – One for each side?

posted 8 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
393 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

well if that one shower is just for your side of the family, and not his, tell her thats how it is. it’s not rude to tell her that, but it is totally rude of her to assume that HER side of the fam/friends is invited. i mean you don’t have to have two showers, you can do it however. Its up to you if you want to invite them all though, well you and your sister since she is throwing it for you!

HTH!

Post # 4
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

she’s going to be your mil. your family. you don’t want to start off your marriage fighting with the inlaws. you have to pick your battles, and this one just doesn’t seem worth it.

Post # 5
Member
4466 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Hmmm, I’m not sure what “tradition” is, but we’re just doing one shower for both sides of the families/friends.  I don’t think Future Mother-In-Law is chipping in for the shower, as it’s being hosted by my bridesmaids.  I can’t imagine my sister (MOH) throwing a shower and saying that Future Mother-In-Law wasn’t invited!  That would be awkward.

Post # 8
Member
4466 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

@chitownbride: OMG, that’s crazy!  We’re just having Future Mother-In-Law, future grandma in law, FI’s two female cousins, and my future sister in law.  Definitely NOT everyone from FI’s side!  And definitely not everyone from my side either.

I would just say that your sister is limiting the shower guest list to close female family members and friends, and that she can’t accomodate 50 extra people.

Post # 9
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

i agree that your sister shouldn’t be footing the bill for the whole shower. but i would try to figure something out so your mil your fi’s side of the family/friends can come and celebrate with you guys. i’ve always been to showers where either bridesmaids help pay or the bride’s parents will help. my parents paid for my shower, but my bridesmaids planned it.

Post # 11
Member
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

Our shower is including both sides of the family and in no way has my Future Mother-In-Law offered to pay or help with anything. My mother is actually paying for our shower. I think it gets pretty expensive to be in a wedding when the bridesmaids have to pay. We are almost pretty even in regards to the number or guests we invited from both families.

Post # 12
Member
1801 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I would tell her that your sister is already taking care of invites and will send them out, so it sounds like you’re telling your fmil that she doesn’t need to worry about taking on the responsibility.  Then you and your sister will have more control over who you invite. 

For my personal shower plans, we’re having 2.  One is primarily my side and the other primarily his, but that’s because our families don’t live in the same cities, so it just works out this way.  My mom, grandma and BM’s are going to that shower, and his mom, step-mom, and grandmas are coming to my hometown shower too. 

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