(Closed) Shower shipped gift etiquette

posted 13 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
382 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

How can you tell the gift is for the shower and not the wedding.  If the person is coming to the shower, why didnt she just bring the gift with her.

Since it is a shower gift, I would bring it to the shower to open with everything else and send a thank you card afterwards.  How far off is your shower?  If you shower is more than 1 month away, you may want to send the thank you card now.

Post # 5
1309 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

I say you should open your present and thank the person now. They sent a gift to your house, so they wanted to give it to you now, not at the shower. Also, sending a thank-you now lets them know that you got it and that it’s not lost in the mail somewhere. I have never heard of an expectation that you were to bring shipped gifts to the shower. If they had wanted you to open them at the shower they would have brought them to the shower. An exception to this might be if someone is unable to come to the shower and so they sent you a gift ahead of time. Well, in that case they will never know the difference of where you opened the present. But if your shower is really soon and close to where you live, you certainly could bring them and open them there if you wanted. I would err on the side that lets you send a faster thank-you note.

Also, it doesn’t really matter whether the gift is for the shower or the wedding. A present is a present. Just don’t specify shower/wedding in your thank-you note. Traditionally you shouldn’t use the presents until after the wedding anyway, so even if you open it you’re going to (theoretically) be waiting until after the wedding to use the shower/wedding present no matter what. Have fun getting new things!

Post # 6
181 posts
Blushing bee

I agree with chelseamorning, a gift is a gift.

I’ve never heard of bringing shipped gifts to the shower either.  It could be the gift is too heavy/bulky to carry or they just didn’t want to travel with it.  Either ways, i would just open it and send a thank you note after.  You don’t have to wait until the shower.  You want them to know you already recieved it bc a lot of packages do get lost in transit.

Post # 7
18 posts

I took several shipped gifts to a shower, but I knew for sure that they were shower gifts not wedding gifts. The people obviously weren’t going to make it to the shower, so I really don’t think it would have mattered if I had taken them or not. It was basically just more to load in the car.

Post # 8
37 posts
  • Wedding: June 2009

My shower is this upcoming weekend and I had one gift shipped to us beforehand from my step-grandmother.  I just called her and asked if she wanted me to bring it to the shower to show off.  She told me she shipped it because it was all of our luggage and she didn’t want to take it to the shower herself and she definitely didn’t expect me to.  So… your guests may have definitely shipped it for their sake & yours.  If you’re unsure just call them and let them know that you got it and ask!   

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