(Closed) shower, stripper, will FMIL offended??

posted 9 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
699 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

If you are nervous about them being offeneded, I think I would let them know. I don’t know how, but I think it would be a good idea. (sorry, I’m not much help here!)

By The Way, I think that is SO awesome that your family is fun and cool and likes to have a good time. I bet it will be a blast!

Post # 4
Member
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

wow, what a fun family

Post # 5
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

Do you really need a stripper?  Also, that sounds more like bach party stuff.  If your family is so cool, could you just ask your mom and aunts to go out then?

Post # 5
Member
695 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Well yes, definitely let them know, but in a gentle way 🙂 I wouldn’t mind it, but even so, I would like to know what’s coming! That’s a really extreme element to a shower! Have fun!

Post # 6
Member
773 posts
Busy bee

Maybe you could have the shower a little earlier in the day, and have it go until a set time, and just have the aunts and cousins who would enjoy a stripper hang around until the FI’s family is gone, or have the people who want the stripper party come back around x time.

 

I know honesty is the best policy and all, but my Future Mother-In-Law would strongly disapprove of a stripper even if she wasn’t present for it.  She was aghast at the lingerie my mother gave me at my shower.  This is one of those cases when I think it’s ok to pull the wool over their eyes a little.  I mean, what your Future Mother-In-Law doesn’t know won’t hurt her, right? 

Post # 7
Member
2820 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

I would be offended. And explaining beforehand would not make me less so. I may hold my tongue and not visibly "ruin" your shower, but…I would definitely not enjoy myself. If you’re fine with alienating your in-laws right off the bat, then sure, go for it; but it most likely would NOT make a good impression.

Post # 8
Member
1718 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2008 - Winery in the Gold Country

Do you think it would lessen the blow if you called it a combination Shower/Bachelorette party?  It seems like a smart/economical thing to do so that your friends don’t have to make multiple trips out for shower/bach, so I would consider you a kind bride for having both events on the same day.  Perhaps if you think they would be offended, do you think you could draw a clear line between the "Shower" portion and the "bachelorette" portion of the day?  Like, maybe have the typical shower-y shower in the early afternoon, regroup, nap, shower, get ready, and then have round 2— the bachelorette part?  That way there is a distinction between the two parts of the day, and people who are uncomfortable can elect not to go to the later portion of the day.

Post # 10
Member
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I LOVE the combo idea. That way it is more explicit to debauchery than just saying "a stripper is coming to the shower." I would still hint at giving them an out if they want to leave early…

Post # 11
Member
2434 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

Yikes.  I would definitely warn your future in laws- and any other guests that are coming (unless you split it up entirely).

If I was at a bridal shower and all of a sudden a stripper showed up, I would be really upset/uncomfortable.  I would definitely leave immediately.

If I knew in advance, I’d decline the invitation and send my gift in the mail.

Some of the women at your shower may be uncomfortable with a stripper.  Think of all the conflicts that show up on the boards with other brides being upset at their FIs for bachelor party antics involving strippers.  You don’t want to cause strife in the relationships of your guests if their husbands object to strippers.

Post # 12
Member
1042 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I really love the idea of a joint shower/bachelorette party!

Post # 13
Member
699 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I think the combo shower/bach party would be the perfect solution!

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