(Closed) Shower & Wedding Present at the same time – Thank You Note ??

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
735 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Your wedding is still some time off.  To wait nearly four months to send a thank you for a gift is too long.  To simply add a “P.S. we got your wedding gift and we’ll thank you for it later” will be mind boggling to some people.  – It would confuse the heck outta me!  It also minimizes your grattitude for what is presumably the larger gift.

Thank you notes should be sent out as you receive gifts.  This lets your friends and family know that 1.) the gift did arrive  2.) you appreciate the gift and the giver’s generosity  3.)  you are a well bred young lady who knows that sending her thanks in a timely manner is far more important than waiting for a special photo card.

*I’m about to say something very unpopular*  Also, think of all the photo Christmas cards you get each year… how many do you keep and cherish?  There are probably only a few guests who would really think of the photo thank you as a momento – and you can always gift those special people with actual, framed photos.

Post # 5
581 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I would say that you should send a genuine thank you card for each gift as it arrives, and you’ll just use different ones for those that arrive after your wedding.

Post # 6
1406 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

We received most of our wedding gifts for our Destination Wedding way before the wedding.  Maybe b/c people knew we were leaving a week early.  I mailed them out w/i 2 weeks of getting the gift.  We honestly received maybe 10% of our gifts after the wedding so I’m glad we didn’t do photo thank you’s.

Post # 7
2616 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

i got a colorful thank you cards for shower gifts, a plain white with silver thank you card for wedding gifts being sent early. once we have our wedding and  a wedding photo thank you will be sent to people who attend/give gifts.

Post # 8
3697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Here’s what I did:  Every time I got a gift, I sent a thank-you card.  For my shower, I spent an hour afterwards writing notes and put them in the mail before I left for the wedding (it was the day before).  We received quite a few wedding gifts early from people who attended the wedding.  If they were sent un-wrapped I sent a thank-you immediately.  If they were wrapped we saved them all to open after the wedding.  I did mention to them how much we were looking forward to opening them, though.

For gifts received at the wedding and right after (and the one that showed up right as I was about to leave for that weekend) I have ordered cards.  I plan to send a note also to those people who gave us a gift early and then left a card at the wedding.  That covers pretty much everyone at the wedding. 

There were some people who did not attend the wedding who were so thoughtful and generous to send us gifts and I did not wait on wedding thank-yous for their cards, I sent them immediately. 

I think in your case, send a genuine thank you for both gifts as you receive them.  You can always send another of your wedding thank-yous after the wedding to thank them for coming and for whatever else they might give you (we received some very sweet cards). 

Post # 9
3267 posts
Sugar bee

If you are that eager to send a photo, you can follow up with a seperate mailing after the wedding.

You shouldn’t wait months to thank people, especially for something like a photo.  I have received many of these, they usually get a glancing, hey look how great they look, and then displayed for a bit and tossed.

Post # 10
3471 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

I wouldn’t say anything– most people wont be expecting a wedding thank-you note until after the wedding– even when they’re shipped together. 

Just send the shower thank-you’s and worry about the rest later. 

Post # 11
428 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I agree with the PP who said to write thank yous for gifts you open immediately after you get them. If you open them both immediately, thank them in one note ASAP.

If the wedding gifts arrive separately from the shower gifts and you plan to wait until the wedding or after the honeymoon to open them, I might write a thank you for the shower gift and include a line that says something like, “we also received your wedding gift and cannot wait to open it when we return from Hawaii!” That lets them know you got it. Then later you can write another note on your special cards specifically mentioning and thanking them for their wedding gift.

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