(Closed) Showers and Such

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
4824 posts
Honey bee


the wording”l thought it was a bachelorette party because of the way she verbalized it” and “We found out it was a shower because of the way the invite was worded in addition yo the way it was verbalized made it seem like, “we’re not inviting most of you to the wedding even though you’re going to this shower and giving me presents.”

I dont get it.

Post # 4
7296 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@lefeymw: i *think* she means that her friend talked about this party like it was a bachelorette, and because it was a bachelorette, not everyone was invited to the wedding,….but once they got the invitations, she realized it was gift-grabbing shower. i sorta get it!


@carrotkarat: despite that i get what you are saying, i am not sure how to talk some sense into you. other than to say that you could choose to go this event and give a gift with no expectation of getting something in return. or you could choose not to go to this event, not give a gift, go to her wedding, and still have no expectation of getting something from her for your wedding. 

Post # 8
4 posts
  • Wedding: October 2011

I, personally would “unfortunately not be able to attend her shower”, but get her a small $10 gift for the occasion anyways. I’d pay $10 anyday to avoid drama 🙂

btw: I just did this last week for my cousin-in-law who had a bridal shower a YEAR after they had been married. Craziness.

Post # 9
1150 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I just want to take this opportunity to acknowledge how cool PurpleUnicorn is! 


Post # 11
7296 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@carrotkarat: if that is how you feel, then i would probably not go to the shower. and i would go to the wedding because weddings are fun, but only give a card.  but you might feel like an a** if she ends up getting you a wedding gift.  however, if you get her a gift, she might then decide to get you one. who knows.  really, i would handle this by thinking about what i would do for her if my wedding was not part of the equation and act accordingly.  would you go? would you get a gift?  (i personally would go and get a gift i can afford, but nothing over the top, then go about my wedding plans and not give her a second thought because i would be too busy to!)

@Mollytov:  haha, thanks!

Post # 12
1046 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

haha, I have a friend who got an invite to a shower and not a wedding and she was so insulted I guess she bought her a pair of fiskars ‘gift unwrappers’ (like specialty scissors with a tape split and box cutter I guess) and insisted that the girl open her gift first.  Once the girl saw it my friend stood up and left. Hellllaaa Fabo drama after that one. 

So I think doing anything to spite her is a bad call- but honestly I wouldn’t waste time or money if she’s clearly fishing for gifts. Just show up with a gift card and call it a day, if she comes to yours that’s cool but if not at least it was only $10.

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