Post # 1
My wedding is May 24th, and planning has been going quickly, easily, and joyfully! We made the decision to have a tiny bridal party, and it has really simplified things. We have only a best man and Maid/Matron of Honor, my BFF, who is also the groom’s sister!
As happy as I have been with this decision, I worry that it puts too much pressure on my Maid/Matron of Honor and other loved ones to get everything done. However, I have a very strong friend circle, who I think has been very helpful to my Maid/Matron of Honor and our families.
Maid/Matron of Honor is planning a shower in Maryland, where she and our families live. The moms, local family, and his side will be invited- maybe around 25 people.
One of my best New York friends is planning a shower here, where we live, for another 15 or so people (moms and Maid/Matron of Honor will be invited, but no pressure to attend). She is very organized, and seems to be really on the ball. It’s pretty secretive, so I don’t know many details. I guess I’m also feeling a little sheepish and undeserving about TWO showers! I am paranoid about coming off as a bridezilla!
My question is… who pays for all of this?? We are mostly paying for our own wedding, so it’s not like I have tons to give, but I feel guilty that all this money will be spent to throw me a party. I have only attended other showers in people’s home where it was mostly DIY and homemade, or at a restaurant where the bride’s mom paid for everything. If I were contributing, I would feel less guilty, but that’s not really an option.
Post # 3
Showers are thrown for you by other people. The people who are hosting are supose to pay. I know you feel guilty (and I do too) but these people obviously love you enough to do this for you.
I am sure your attendents are adults who are smart enough not to put themselves in a financial bind in order to throw you a party. 🙂
Post # 4
@Kwhoa: In my case, Fiance and I are paying for about 1/4 of our wedding. His parents are paying for a little less than half, and my dad is making up the rest.
FI’s parents and even his aunt are chipping in on our shower. I’m sure my BMs will too.
I originally didn’t want to have a shower, but FI’s mom insisted, so that is why they’re paying for most of it. And his aunt chipped in on his brother’s wife’s shower, so that is why she’s doing the same for us (she’s very wealthy).
Honestly, I’m not sure who is supposed to pay for the damn thing. But you’re right, they are expensive!
I guess it depends on if you have to book a venue for the shower or if it will be at someones home. If it’s going to be at someones house, then suggest just having a buffet of appetizers to keep costs down.
We don’t really have that option, so we’re booking a room at a local restaurant and having a buffet which costs more per person than our actual reception food will!
Post # 5
@Kwhoa: The finances are not your concern. The people hosting the shower would not be doing so if they didn’t want to. Relax, step back from the details and simply enjoy being the guest of honor.
The time will come when you are hosting a shower for a friend or family member. What goes around, comes around.
Post # 6
The hostesses pay. The bride does not. However, I totally understand where you are coming from. I don’t like accepting things from others too. Showers and registries make me rreally uncomfortable so we skipped them.
Post # 7
@CurlyCue: Thank you for understanding!
@julies1949: You’re right. It’s hard to stand back and not see dollar signs. I can’t wait until I can throw a shower for my Maid/Matron of Honor and dear friends!
@MichiganGirl24: Yes, my feelings exactly!
@Misswhowedding: You’re right. I’m sure they aren’t stressing over what I’m paying, so I shouldn’t do that to them!
Thank you all!
Post # 8
@Kwhoa: Let people throw you parties! I know it’s hard and feels like too much…. but they love you and want to honor you. Don’t feel guilty. You are not a bridezilla because they offered… it’s not like you demanded they throw you the showers! Relax and enjoy it.
Post # 9
@MexiPino: Thank you! This is one of the hardest parts so far! I can’t wait to return all of these amazing favors!!
Post # 10
@Kwhoa: Hi date twin! I totally understand where you are coming from. Showers are so expensive! My mom is helping the bridesmaids pay for my shower.
Post # 11
I’m not having a shower and instead will just have a bachelorette party. I have been living with my Fiance for a year and we had a house warming so I don’t need extra stuff. I plan to get my lingerie gifts at the bachelorette party