Post # 1
Is it incredibly rude to invite someone to the shower, but not to the wedding? I am having a small out of town wedding with just family and close friends, but I would like to invite other friends and people from work to the more laid back shower. Is this wrong?
Post # 3
- Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas
Personally, I believe that it’s okay as long as it is clear to the guests that they aren’t invited to the wedding (For example, include on the invite that you’re having a small wedding, but want to celebrate with everyone).
Technically, traditional etiquette says otherwise, but I like to be a rule breaker. 🙂
Post # 4
- Wedding: May 2011 - Bartram's Garden
I don’t know if it’s necessarily rude, but I might be offended if someone did that to me. Since a shower is all about presents, it might sound like you invited them to the shower just so you could get their presents.
Post # 5
It’s rude. Very rude. People invited to your shower will assume they are invited to the wedding. I would! That’s one of the drawbacks of a small, private wedding.
Post # 6
Yeah, I have to disagree with Amanda, UNLESS you’re having a theme shower–IE, recipe shower, stock the bar, etc. I think those would be acceptable and more of a couple’s party than a shower.
Post # 7
Yeah, this is kind of hard to get around because a shower’s main purpose is to “shower” the bride with presents, you know? I’m not really an etiquette stickler, but unfortuantely, I gotta say that this would probably be a no for me.
Maybe you could have an “after wedding” celebration with the people you couldn’t invite to the wedding? Make it a casual backyard paty. That way, you can celebrate with everyone you wanted to invite to the shower but couldn’t.
Post # 8
- Wedding: March 2010 - Ritz-Carlton, Half Moon Bay
if you want to celebrate with them, maybe hold another reception afterwards? for some reason i think that is more polite than inviting them to the shower and not inviting them to the reception. the after-wedding celebration can be very low-key as well.
Post # 9
I agree, it would be very rude. You’ll have them thinking that you can take their presents (because a shower is all about giving the bride things she’ll need for her married life) but not invite them to the actual wedding. I would be very offended and hurt. Why not just not invite them to your traditional shower and have either a party before or a party after with them invited?
Have a party!