Post # 1
My father passed away when i was 16,so i don’t want anyone else to walk me down the isle because he said he would do it. So i thought of having a photo of him attached to my bouquet or shoes – he then will walk with me down the aisle (found some images to give you an idea)
We still have a year in a half left till the wedding. We haven’t asked anyone to be in the wedding yet. I had planned on asking my one cousin but she was killed this past February before i had the chance to ask her. But I would still like to keep a place for her in my wedding party. I was thinking maybe have a candle or photo in line where my bridesmaids will stand during the wedding, being I know should would have wanted to be in my wedding (image example)
Maybe something at the reception like a table of photos for the people we wish could have been there? (image for example)
The theme of the wedding is “Til Death Do Us Part” – we are both non-religious and we do not believe we will ever see them again (in heaven or whatnot) or anyone after we die – so this is where our theme came from (we will be together until death we then will part) we both had quite a few family members pass away very suddenly. We felt they would have been important people in our wedding and wanted something of them there with us that day.
what do you think on these ideas and is there anything else you would add, we are very offbeat and non traditonal – colors are black, burgundy, silver, white, flowers ai will have black calla lillies and the bridesmaids will have large white calla lillies – we did want to incorporate some type of skull into the wedding but not to halloween color or kiddy like… Thoughts?
Post # 3
I think all of your ideas are great. I will be attaching a memorial charm to my bouquet as well. I lost my brother in February and I think they’re a great way to have someone close to you that’s unable to attend.
Post # 4
I like the “in memory” candles I see online in general, but to be honest, those ones pictured above are hokey/creepy to me…something about having the people’s pictures and then the couples’ names and wedding date…just weird.
I think having actual framed pictures of the loved ones with some candles placed around would be nice to honor their memories.
Post # 5
@AndysCraftsNmore: My father passed away 6 years ago! I had my two children walk me down the aisle. We had a reserved seat for my father with his vest and a picture and we also had the memory table. I also wore his wedding ring for the ceremony.
Post # 6
I had Sophie, she was made from my grandmother’s Persian Lamb Coat (I was a 54 year old bride, and made my best friend cry when I told her I was going to do this) Sophie’s story also appeared in our program, so people understood why she was there:
My grandparents, Sophie and Edward Nortof were people of modest means – she cleaned offices at night for Prudential, he was a paint filler at Sherwin Williams.
My grandmother was a lady in all respects; her hair, makeup and nails were impeccable and she dressed up to go food shopping!
She loved beautiful things, one of which was her black Persian lamb coat with silver mink cuffs and collar, which she wore to Mass every Sunday and for those once in a while special events.
I was blessed to have her in my life for 33 years; when she passed we all kept some of her things that were special to her; one of the things I kept was her precious coat. My mother said I always loved beautiful things, just like my grandmother!
My grandmother was tiny compared to me and there was no way to make her coat wearable, thus “Sophie” was born.
Sophie of course is a lady, like her namesake, and has dressed up for this special day in her tiara and pearls.
She is here today to honor the memory of those who have passed and cannot be with us today, but are forever in our hearts.
Post # 7
@dkacerek: I think this is so beautiful. It made me tear up.
Post # 8
I LOVE the idea of attaching the picture of your father to your shoes. It would really be like him walking with you! Very touching.
Post # 9
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
I think that of I were a guest at your wedding, I’d have a very hard time not feeling sad and rather morbid. I mean, subtle rememberances like the photo charm that are meant for your eyes only are fine. Maybe even 1 not-so-subtle, but very tactful display would work, too (e.g. the photos or Sophie). But the skull and the candle where a person should be and your theme all piled on top of one another…. well, it’s rather “in your face” and would likely bring up a lot of my own very sad and difficult memories in such a manner that would utterly distract from you and your wedding. Maybe none of your other guests have ever lost someone, so it won;t feel personal to them. but for me, and certainly for Mr.Lk, it would hit way too close to home and we probably would not stick around long to see what other ways you planned to shove death into our faces. So there’s a different perspective for your consideration.
Post # 10
I am going have pictures in my bouquet. I think it’s a lovely idea to remember those loved ones who can’t be there. At my friends wedding recently, her Grandfather was honoured in her speeches.
Post # 11
that is very true, i hadn’t thought of it that way. Being that my cousins mother and grandmother would also be attending the wedding i wouldn’t want them to see something representing their daughter and her not really being there. What if we nix the idea of anything up front with the bridal party? But still stick with the theme “til death do us part” theme maybe just keep the table of photos? Maybe have each frame a different color and have a little splatter of color in different areas,
example – keep the table of all the photos. Make every photo frame a different color, with one frame explain the significance of individual colors. My cousins frame would be a lime green and maybe a few lime green decor around the room like a little streamer on my bouquet, a bow on a chair at the reception, maybe a blue frame for grandma and maybe make a special blue drink (grandma was a drink connoisseur) thinks like that around ?
I still want the main colors to be Burgundy, Black, Silver- but maybe a few pops of “reminder” colors around the entire event so people will see them but not feel its morbid.
Post # 12
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
@AndysCraftsNmore: I think the colors idea would work, as the colors primarily carry the meaning for you. I just encourage you to be sensitive.
As part of our cocktail hour decor we had family photos scattered throughout the area. One of those photos was of Mr. LK’s parents’ wedding. Both of his parents have passed on. During the cocktail hour I glanced around the room and noticed Mr. LK’s Gramma kissing that photo with a tear in her eye. As joyous as our wedding was, just having that photo of her deceased daughter there was enough to bring her to tears. I don’t know that she (or Mr. LK, for that matter) could have handled much more of a reminder.
Post # 13
I’ll be doing bouquet charms for my dad and grandpa.
Post # 14
I think those are beautiful ideas, and I second the “reserved” seat idea as well. Including a note in your programs might also be nice.
This is the note we included in ours:
In Loving Memory
As we embark on the next stage of our lives together, we would like to take the time to lovingly recognize those who are no longer with us. Today, we think of them fondly with love in our hearts.
[Names of departed family members.]
““If there is ever a day we can’t be together, keep me in your heart. I’ll stay there forever.” -Winnie the Pooh
Post # 15
@AndysCraftsNmore: I love the idea of a photo of your Dad attached to your wedding bouquet. Not so in love with the shoes idea – that seems…I don’t know, a little odd to me. Perhaps disrespectful maybe?
As for the other ideas, its up to you, but…In My Humble Opinion, a wedding should focus on the wedding and not resemble a memorial service. Less is more. I think a lot of photos, candles, mentions, etc. makes the day more about who isn’t there than who is.
For us, our reception venue had a fireplace with a mantle. We placed the wedding photos of our parents there (my parents and my Mother-In-Law are deceased) and I thought that was nice without being too overpowering. There were also wedding photos of people who were still alive so not too sad either.