Post # 1
Okay, so I have a curious question for the brides-to-be out there and those who have gone through this.
Last night my fiancee and I got into a mild argument about her letting me see wedding dress ideas. She hasn’t even gone dress shopping yet, picked one out, or anything like that. However she won’t let me see anything that she might even like in pictures or screenshots she has taken.
I don’t see what the big deal is. I’m a curious creature and just want to know what she is thinking, but she is unwilling to show/share anything related to the dress.
We won’t even be having our wedding for a year and a half as well. So anything that she’s looking at now may not even come into play.
Did you have issues with showing your fiance’s pictures of dress ideas?
We are both paying for the wedding together and honeymoon. I know she’s going to want to pick what I’m wearing too. So just trying to understand the big deal of seeing pictures of ideas and not even the dress itself..
Post # 2
I showed my Darling Husband random photos or dresses (both ones I liked and ones I hated) just to get a feel for what he liked. But I didn’t tell him what I liked or give him any hints after I bought the dress.
Can I ask why it’s a big deal to you to know what she is thinking in a dress? It’s fun for the dress to be a complete surprise, and I didn’t want to spoil that. Of course everyone is different, but for me, it would have felt less special if he had seen my dress beforehand. Just let her have this.
Post # 3
I don’t see the big deal personally. I showed my fiancee different ideas, one of which happened to be the dress I bought. He basically told me what he liked and what he didn’t like in dresses, and I took that into consideration when I went shopping. For example, he doesn’t like feathers, he doesn’t like lots of sequins or rhinestones, he doesn’t like the big fabric flowers, and he doesn’t like fit and flare/mermaid style dresses. So when I went shopping, anything of those was out of the picture. At the end of the day, he hasn’t seen a picture of me in my dress, and doesn’t know what I bought, but had some input.
Post # 4
courtja : Oh I don’t want to see the dress. I’m just trying to understand the big deal of even seeing ‘ideas’ of things she likes. She won’t be buying a dress anytime soon, so everything right now is just ‘ideas’
Post # 5
I showed my fiance options of things I liked (he actually even picked my dress, I showed him a bunch of ideas online and ordered his favourite). But I think your fiancee just wants to go traditional keep it a complete surprise, I wouldn’t think this would be an issue big enough to fight over.
Post # 6
Why are you that upset about it? I didn’t show my Darling Husband any sorts of pics of dresses that I remotely liked. I wanted it to be a complete surprise and she has a right to keep that to herself I would think.
Post # 7
that’s the one thing i’m very strict with FH about. He asks all the time what my dress looks like, if it’s poofy, or if it’s long and personally, it’s none of his business right now. I get to wear what makes me feel beautiful, not what he “thinks” would look best. Dresses don’t always look on girls like they do on models or in pictures, so no, I don’t think the FHs should see the dresses because that could sway the woman based on his reaction even if she really really loved a dress.
Post # 8
I didn’t show him but to be honest he doesn’t know or care about fashion.
Post # 9
I personally think it’s stupid to keep it top secret when the fiance is just interested in the general style. Like really, you would rather fight him to the point of him venting on a wedding forum just to hide how a dress MAY look like?
Sure it’s not really his business…but then most brides would die before allowing the groom to keep his suit style, choice of tie, groomswear color scheme a top secret. Not her business either.
Your fiancee clearly has too much free time for petty arguments.
Post # 10
I showed my fi. He’s seen pictures and he’s seen me in it. But it’s not a big deal to me, the wearer.
Obviously your fi wants it to be a surprise, and honestly, I don’t see why you feel entitled to it. It’s not really that important.
Post # 11
I’m not engaged but I know the kind of dress I would like. I don’t think I would want my SO/FI seeing me in the dresses I tried on or the dress I bought, but I don’t have any problem with showing him pictures of stuff I like. In the end it’s going to be my decision anyway. In fact, he’s kind of the opposite, doesn’t like to see the dresses I like, which is mildly frustrating.
You made a whole account just for this?? It doesn’t seem like that big of a deal.
Post # 12
- Wedding: April 2017 - Valleybrook Country Club
paulwdfw : we agreed that my dress would be a complete surprise to him and our guests. Only my mom, grandma, sisters, and godmother were shown the dress. When it came to ideas, I had a secret pinterest board that he couldn’t see so that he didn’t have anything that would be a suggestion of what my dress looked like. That was something we decided together.
Post # 13
I would never have shown Darling Husband what I was thinking before we were married. I wanted the dress to be a complete surprise.
That said, however, what he wore was also entirely his choice. I don’t think your Fiance should have a right to choose what you wear in addition to what she wears, as you are not a photo prop at your own wedding. You’re an adult and can choose what to wear on your own, as long as you both agree on the level of formality of the wedding.
Post # 14
I’ve known for a long time what I’ve wanted, basically. So if I showed Fiance, he would know what my dress looks like. It’s important to me that he not know what my dress looks like.
Post # 15
Some people just really like it to be a TOTAL surprise. I didn’t care about it being a secret before the wedding, but my husband really did. He almost saw the dress twice accidentally and he got very upset haha. He was very attached to that *unveiling* moment.
Even just seeing her ideas now could give a lot away about the dress. Why do you want to see them so badly? (genuinely curious)