(Closed) Sh*t's About to Get Real….Really Need Advice (Long ish)

posted 9 years ago in Family
Post # 32
Member
4134 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

Your step dad gave up that right the first time he ever laid a hand on you. Does your mom know about that?

Post # 33
Member
2041 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@cmsgirl:  I’m sorry but you have no right to put that on her shoulders. Have you ever experienced this? I understand where you are coming from, but OP needs to take care of herself first and foremost. 

 

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@Coral99: ((Hugs)) I’m so sorry that you’ve been surrounded by terrible people growing up. I have to agree with the PPs that have suggested either walking alone down the aisle or having your Fiance walk with you. My Fiance and I are strongly considering the latter because for us it is such a powerful symbol of our mutual committment and the equality in our relationship. That’s just a thought. I’m a survivor of childhood sexual abuse myself, and if you ever want to talk about anything, please don’t hesitate to message me. 

You are such a strong person and obviously loving soul to be able to embrace your family despite their utter selfishness. Keep on doing what’s best and right for you. You don’t owe anyone a damn thing, and your wedding day is all about you and your Fiance regardless of who paid for what and all that jazz.

Post # 36
Member
874 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Coral99: Wow!  That really does suck!

 

After reading how ALL of the “important” adults in your life have treated you.  Myself I would not have ANY of them step into such an important role.  One ignores you and treats you like you don’t exsist, one has molested you, and the other chooses to ignore the fact that her “dear husband” has abused her child.  WTH?? 

 

I agree with PP walk yourself down the aisle.  What a power house statement it makes to those who “should be” in that spot.  I am terribly sorry that you have to deal with this.  What a shitty decision to have to make.  Again, I say to hell with them, and walk yourself down the aisle.  

Post # 38
Member
1098 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Coral99:  Glad it all worked out <3

Post # 40
Member
3076 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2000

@Coral99:  Wow, you are my hero! After reading your reply about your FI’s 6 year old and the steps you have taken to protect him, I am gobsmacked about how practical and brave you are. I wish you all of the luck in the world!

Post # 41
Member
2041 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Coral99:  I’m so happy that it turned out so well for you and that your mom accepted it so well. πŸ™‚

Post # 42
Member
1088 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’m so sorry for the hurt that those three have put you through. I’m glad that you are doing what is right for you.

As another suggestion, you could have another family member (any uncles, cousins?), friend, or even the best man walk with you.

 

Post # 43
Member
1966 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

You say that he molested you like a tiny detail of the story. Tell your mom, press charges, and do therapy. In whatever order you see fit.

 

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