(Closed) Sibling engaged at same time as you – inconsiderate?

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: How would you feel if one of your siblings got engaged while you are?
    "I'd be annoyed - they really should wait until after my wedding" : (6 votes)
    2 %
    "I wouldn't be annoyed but I would prefer if they waited until after my wedding" : (21 votes)
    6 %
    I wouldn't think anything of it. : (310 votes)
    92 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    558 posts
    Busy bee

    View original reply
    lamington:  No, I got engaged one month before my sis. I actually felt like I was stealing her thunder because they were together longer than my Fiance and me. I don’t see the big deal – it’s actually exciting because now we get to plan our separate weddings together. She knows my date, and Im pretty sure she’s getting married before me. No biggie. I’m happy for her!

    Post # 3
    Member
    438 posts
    Helper bee

    it depends on the person. I think its silly to be annoyed. I got engaged a month before my sisters wedding. She and nobody else seemed to care. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    2732 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    I personally wouldn’t care but I know some people (see threads on here) would be furious. I think that’s ridiculous. Everyone should be happy to enjoy the moment together! The only people I can see being slightly annoyed are parents IF they are paying for both weddings lol.

    Post # 5
    Member
    3242 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I was the second sibling to get engaged. But then me and my brother had a double wedding! So clearly we didn’t mind. It was lovely standing there next to each other getting hitched. Quite amazing for the fam. Great day!

    Post # 6
    Member
    2076 posts
    Buzzing bee

    No.  People’s lives don’t stop just because a person gets engaged.  And people are more then capable of being excited for more then one thing at a time.  So stop worrying that you are stepping on toes.  You did nothing wrong.  This is just as much of an exciting time for you that it is for your sibling.

    Post # 7
    Member
    2109 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    I would have been extremely upset with my siblings if they had gotten engaged while I was engaged!!! ….But that’s only because they were 13 and 17 at the time.

    Why be upset?! Their love doesn’t impact your love- just gives you more reason to celebrate! 

    Post # 8
    Member
    2626 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2017 - Hogarths, Solihull

    I was the 2nd sibling to get engaged. My sister got engaged last August, I got engaged this September (so like a year later)

    My sister doesn’t seem to mind TOO much because this is her 2nd wedding (my 1st) and she hasn’t actually planned anything. She originally thought she might get married next year but then she had a baby and wants another one so she’ll probably get married after me. She is my bridesmaid though and I think it’ll be fun in the end 🙂

    Would I have been annoyed if it was the other way around? No, not unless it was like the next day or something. My neighbour got engaged a couple of weeks after me and we’re both really excited about being engaged together because we can swap notes 🙂

     

    Post # 9
    Member
    151 posts
    Blushing bee

    I got engaged shortly after my brother did. It didn’t bother either of us. He did a shorter engagement with a destination wedding and I am having a longer one with a bigger wedding at home. There was no hard feeling at all. It’s a happy time for our families so “thunder stealing” shouldn’t change that.

    Post # 10
    Member
    137 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2016

    This happened to me. I was engaged for 6 months, then my brother proposed. Their wedding will be 3 months after mine.

    I think it depends on your relationship with the other couple.

    I’m not super happy about it only because she tends to copy a lot of things I do. I pride myself on doing my own thing and being a bit unique. I’m just afraid that I’m going to put all this work into making my wedding day “mine” and all the sudden she’s going to “love” what I do for my day and just take over everything I used/did and use it for her own.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1024 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2016

    A wedding is ONE day of a persons life – not every single day leading up to the actual day is dedicated to the bride. We got engaged one month before FI’s sister she didn’t care at all – like PP said, people’s lives don’t stop because of engagements. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    2076 posts
    Buzzing bee

    View original reply
    liverightnow:  And so what if she does?  Your wedding is first so everyone (if they even notice) will know that you had it first.

    Honestly, I would take her wanting to copy you as a compliment.  

    Post # 13
    Member
    223 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2016

    I was glad that my brother got engaged during my engagment. It means that at the wedding I know his fiance will be in our family forever! She’s my future sister, not just my brothers girlfriend. It was nice to know that before the wedding. It changes the way I see her and the role she’ll have in the wedding.

    Post # 14
    Member
    2509 posts
    Sugar bee

    View original reply
    lamington:  My sister and I got engaged two weeks apart. I guess there could have been hurt feelings if either of us allowed it but we didn’t. Instead it was so much fun planning with my sister and enjoying the engagement stage at the same time.

    They always say “No one is as excited about your wedding as you are”, well the best person to be excited with you (other than your FI!) is an engaged sibling!

    And if it’s your brother that is engaged and he isn’t all gung-ho over wedding talk, bond with your future SIL!

    Post # 15
    Member
    592 posts
    Busy bee

    I am the youngest of my siblings and the first to be engaged. My oldest sister/MOH got engaged two weeks after my engagement party and I was so happy! 

    Both my sister and my Future Brother-In-Law have been super considerate telling me that they were going to wait until after my wedding to have theirs, which is ridiculous – especially since our date hasn’t been set in stone. Another bee said it, nobody’s life gets out on hold because someone gets engaged. 

    My sister and my Future Brother-In-Law has been together for almost 10 years and have two kids together so I completely understand if they skip ahead of us and get married before us. As long as it’s not the same weekend, she is in fact my Maid/Matron of Honor,  I won’t care when. 

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