(Closed) Sibling engaged at same time as you – inconsiderate?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: How would you feel if one of your siblings got engaged while you are?

    "I'd be annoyed - they really should wait until after my wedding"

    "I wouldn't be annoyed but I would prefer if they waited until after my wedding"

    I wouldn't think anything of it.

  • Post # 76
    739 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2018

    I wouldn’t be anything but happy for my sister and her partner, if that was the case. Engagements are about timing as well, and you don’t get to dictate when it’s right for a couple to get engaged. I think it’s extremely selfish to be upset or have negative feelings if one of your siblings got engaged during your own engagement. It’s not like the world stops, because you get engaged – other people get to have lives as well. 

    Post # 77
    161 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: November 2016

    I would be pissed, because my siblings are between the ages of 8 – 18 hahaha.  But if any of them were closer to my age, or older and they got engaged to a decent man or woman I would be happy for them.  I had a friend get engaged right after me and I didn’t feel any negative feelings or anything about it 

    Post # 78
    50 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: April 2016

    BOTH of my siblings got engaged while I was (am still) engaged. My poor parents have all three of their children engaged at the same time! On top of it, I am my sister’s Maid/Matron of Honor and she is mine. It’s actually working out really well and no one feels jealous or competitive. 🙂

    Post # 79
    858 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    DH proposed to me a month and a half after his brother proposed.  The day DH bought the stone for my ring, his brother received his ring in the mail haha. Neither had any idea the other was planning to propose.

    We ended up getting married in May, and his brother got married in April (5 weeks apart).  It was hectic and stressful at times (we both were in each other’s wedding party), but you can’t put your life on hold for someone else.  We had picked May 2015 as our wedding date before Brother-In-Law even proposed.

    Post # 80
    1069 posts
    Bumble bee

    Couldn’t care less about it. I’d be happy for my siblings. It’s not like my family are going to be less happy for me because of it. And anyone who’s worried about having their limelight taken away from them needs to get a grip. It’s an engagement. Nothing more. Celebrate together and enjoy sharing wedding ideas – then again, the kind of person who gets upset about hte engagement would probably keep all their wedding details top secret incase they are ‘stolen’.

    Post # 81
    10839 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    I can hardly believe this is a question anyone would get upset about – it’s like asking someone not to try for a baby until yours is born or not go for a job interview until your  new job probation period is over …………..

    Weddings  do seem to bring out the  the crazy,  as bees have often suggested, but this engagement scenario is truly  mad.   There are bees on here who have been  engaged  3,  4,  5 or even more years !!!! Imagine  being  the sibling  of one of them and having to wait that out. .

    Post # 82
    241 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2016

    View original reply
    lamington:  No, what’s inconsiderate is getting married the SAME WEEK as your brother.  When you only have ONE sybling!!  You only have one stinking person to work around and there are 52 weeks in a year, REALLY???!!  Who DOES that?

    Post # 83
    2274 posts
    Buzzing bee

    If you get pregnant at the same time as a sibling should you ask the sibling to defer delivery until you have yours?

    Never in my life lived with a generation who was so eager to brood about raini g on someone else’s happiness.

    Real life is NEVER just about YOU!

    Post # 84
    694 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    View original reply
    lamington:  My brother proposed to his gf the night after our engagement party, which we only had because we went up to be there for my prother’s proposal! So nopw not an issue with the propsal and being engaged at the same time.

    For me the issue came when they decided to get married three months after us the weekend we were leaving for delayed honeymoon that was gifted to us and they knew that. So had they actualyl waited until the following year as my brother assured me they would to getting married, we wouldn’t have had SO much comparison of our weddings on their day and we could’ve actually spent time with my family and them surrounding their wedding.

    In the end it all worked out fine but I still would’ve prefered a bigger gap between our weddings. Ours was the start of summer and theirs was the end and my SIL ended up wearing my maybe dress so I can only imagine how it would’ve been had we picked the same dress! 

    Post # 85
    87 posts
    Worker bee

    I was also in your situation, my sister got engaged about 2 weeks before I was but my (now) husband and I had been dating a bit longer (not by much!). I ended up getting married before her and no one cared. It was actually really nice to plan around the same time! We are both in our 30s so by this age most people know the world doesn’t revolve around them lol. I hope you enjoy your wedding planning! It wasn’t nearly as fun as I thought it would be lol

    Post # 86
    634 posts
    Busy bee

    I’m actually a bit worried about this. My Future Sister-In-Law is engaged & getting married in Aug 2017. My future Fiance & I actually booked our venue in March (before they got engaged). We are not engaged yet (waiting on ring – so it’ll be December). Our wedding is Nov 2016. I don’t know her very well & I’m worried she’ll be annoyed. My BF said she won’t but he’s not very good at reading peoples feelings (Apart from mine). I don’t want to start off on the wrong foot with his family. I don’t know them very well. I’m glad to see most people don’t think it’s an issue

    Post # 87
    552 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    View original reply
    elderbee:  +10000000

    I don’t understand why anyone would be upset to be engaged at the same time… I personally would love it! You get to commiserate, plan things, figure stuff out together, and so forth. Crazy to be upset. Are you going to be upset if they decide to start trying for a baby at the same time? I guarantee you they aren’t even bothered by it. We tend to think the world revolves around us (as humans), but usually – unless there are extenuating circumstances – it’s purely coincidence as to when things happen.

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