(Closed) Sibling problems

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 4
514 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

You will see many similar posts on here and everyone says you get one day and you can’t expect people to wait or not wait to do things because of your wedding, etc. However, I can understand feeling sad because when it is 2 sisters, you are going to be talking about wedding plans with the same parents and family members.

If she wants to get married next year and you want a longer engagement then let it be. This will give you the time to save for your own wedding and get hers out of the way.

Post # 5
3564 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Since it was your sister’s Fiance that popped the question, I don’t really see how their engagement could be due to your sister being dominant, as you say–unless you think she nagged him into doing it when he did. Even so, I would just try to move on. I think it’s okay to be upset/angry about it, but remember–you’ll still get to be the bride on your wedding day. I would just let them plan the wedding for whenever they want to plan it and focus on your own timeline and school. Don’t let your anger turn this into a competition between you and your sister, which might be exactly what she wants. Try to think of it postively–if she’s getting married next year, you’ll be able to use some of the research she does for her wedding (vendors, pricing, etc). You said yourself that you wanted to have a longer engagement. 

Post # 7
1872 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Yes, shrug and move on. 

You cannot control what your sister and/or her FH do. If they want to hog attention and get married in great fanfare a week before you do, then that’s what they’re going to do. 

You CAN however, control your own life. If you want your time in the limelight, then wait for her to set a date and then set yours for a year later. But recognize that there are pluses and minuses to that as well: you’ll be the only bride for that year, but your parents and family (especially if they’re helping to pay) might be a little more subdued on the whole thing. 

Finally, the other thing that you need to start doing is looking at your relationship and your future marriage as the start of YOUR family. In other words, drop all that baggage about not being #1 in your old family–because it really is your OLD family now and that’s the old you. You’ve found someone you love to be a new family with and that’s your future. Focus on that and let go of the drama. 

Post # 8
2742 posts
Sugar bee

@Oxfordnerd: My sister (whom I’m very close to BTW) announced her engagement two weeks after mine. I didn’t care, being as I got proposed to a week AFTER my brother. I am getting married a month before my brother but my sister is getting married in 2012. Her Fiance doesn’t like it but my family can’t be running up and down all over America for weddings. I’m sorry things are bad with your sister, but I think this is more because of underlying issues with your sister than the fact that she got engaged about a month after you. I’m sure she is over the moon because she’s been dating this guy for a decade. I can’t even imagine the kind of questions she’d been asked all while she was dating. If I were you, I’d just go on and try and enjoy my engagement and see if I can work on my relationship with my sister.

Post # 8
11 posts
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think that is awful of your sister and your family. If I were you I would have set a date before their wedding and see how they felt about having their thunder stolen.

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