(Closed) Sibling rivalry! She picked the EXACT SAME date as me and won’t change it!

posted 10 years ago in Family
Post # 17
250 posts
Helper bee

ehhh… this is probably a stupid idea, but given the minor debate on whether or not she would change her date if you changed yours, what if you just told her that you were changing it and what your new date would be? that way, if she changes hers to match the new date, you haven’t actually done anything new, but her date has moved. and if she doesn’t change it, then at least she’s not all that spiteful after all and you could actually go on and change your date if you wanted.

Post # 18
1289 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

You could always start a rumour you “changed the date” so that she would do the same, which, from reading your story, will be 99.99% what will happen. Then as soon as she changes her, get your invites ready and whack them out!  Pie in her face.  She sounds like a poisonous thorn in your side, and playing nice wil lget you nowhere – play fire with fire dear – its the only thing people like that understand.

Post # 19
1581 posts
Bumble bee

It doesn’t sounds like your sister’s relationship will last that long – plan as you would have & be strong. You have the support you need to overcome this!

Post # 21
1252 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@GoldenBeauty2202012:  I’m sorry you’re so sad about this but honestly, her spotlight is not bright enough to cover yours considering all her shenanigans you listed. I agree with your Fiance to take her one-upping attempts upon you (same engagement date and now same wedding date) with a grain of salt. You know her actions and words are soaked in jealousy of you and your relationship. I’d be more concerned about getting to the bottom of her sadness and hurt, and repairing your sisterly relations above and beyond dates on the calendar. Wish her well, and don’t get sucked into her circus. You have your own party going on.

Post # 22
145 posts
Blushing bee

First off, your sister should not be wearing a stolen wedding band! The family should ask her to return it, and if she doesn’t they should call the police.

I agree with not moving your wedding date – she will only do the same. Just start a rumour about changing your date and she’ll probably change hers. Not that it really matters; as others have said, everyone will be attending your wedding anyway, especially if her Fiance is a well known thief and addict whom your family have restraining orders against.

My main concern would be that she’ll try to do something to ruin your wedding day. She sounds spiteful and jealous enough to do something evil like crashing your reception or throwing paint on your dress as you leave the house. You need to keep your wedding details secret – tell people not to tell your sister anything!

I hate to say this because she’s your sister, but really I think you need to cut this poisonous woman out of your life. Cut contact with her, defriend her on Facebook, stay away from her – I’m surprised if other family members haven’t already done this. She obviously hates you and is trying to hurt you in any way she can, and no amount of kind and understanding behaviour will make any difference – all you can do is stay away from her.

Post # 23
1047 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I think what she’s doing is pretty weird and irrational if you ask me….what do your parents have to say about it?  I have a younger sister and if we were getting married the same day….my parents would pretty much sit us down and tell one of us to change it.  How can they and other guests be at 2 weddings at the same time?  


Post # 25
632 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I don’t think you have to do anything, if your family all has restraining orders against her fiance than they can’t be attending the wedding. Ignore her drama. 

Post # 27
2623 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

If all of these is true I would be less concern about wedding drama and more concern about her child. I feel it’s a non issue to get mad at her because of the thingss you listed and because you said your whole family  has restraining orders againist him, which means if she did hold the wedding the same day as you it wouldn’t matter because no on would attend.

Post # 28
6533 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

@GoldenBeauty2202012:  As crazy as she sounds, my guess is most people will choose your normal loving wedding over her farce of one. Keep going full steam ahead and ignore her. If your family does have RO’s against her “FI”, would they go to hers anyway?

Post # 29
1637 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Just let her get on with it then and ignore her. If your family all have restraining orders against ther partner, they can’t attend her wedding anyway!

Best of luck 🙂

Post # 30
150 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

if most of your family have restraining orders out on your sister’s Fiance then they wouldnt be able to go to her wedding anyway?

let her get cracked on with what ever it is she is planning for her day – and you crack on with yours. if the majority of your family knew what your date was from the start then they will also be able to see what it is your sister is doing.

keep going and try not to let it worry you – i know its easier to say than do.

Post # 31
168 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

1.) No sense reasoning with this immature cow. So I wouldn’t even bother wasting your breath and energy pleading with her to reconsider changing her date. She’s set on this malecious scheme and the more ruckus you cause contesting her “date” the more she wins.

2.) Don’t change your date. Move forward with the knowledge that your wedding is a celebration of your love for one another. You have the resources, relationship and love to create an event far superior to her rick-shaw affair.

3.) Make sure you really nail your STDs and invitations but keep them a tight-lipped secret until the post. Why? Think about it….One really sharp invitation. One cheap and shoddy. Which wedding are you going to go to?

4.) Learn balance! Reveal enough that you make it clear your wedding is going to be amazing compared to hers but don’t reveal enough that she can steal ideas or themes without it being completely obvious.

5.) Plain and simple…don’t feed her need for attention. Don’t talk with her unless you have to and if she brings up her wedding, walk away from the conversation.


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