Sibling weddings within 1 month.

posted 8 months ago in Engagement
  • poll: What would your reaction be?
    Totally cool, it’s not a big deal at all. : (30 votes)
    34 %
    A little upset, but no worries we can make this work : (43 votes)
    49 %
    Really upset, it’s taking away from my special time : (12 votes)
    14 %
    Extremely upset, how could you do this to me?? : (3 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    4835 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2018

    It wouldn’t bother me, I don’t see a negative side to this. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    2617 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2017 - Valleybrook Country Club

    weddingbuzz425 :  Honestly, I probably would be a bit upset at first, but I would quickly get over it. It’s a happy time that you get to share with eachother. As long as they didn’t take your actual day, or any of your specific ideas, then there’s no harm. Be happy for eachother! 

    Post # 5
    Member
    1224 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

    It’s certainly a strange choice of date, but I would completely understand if there was an issue like a time or budget constraint or something.  I would maybe be a little upset by it, but oh well.

    Post # 6
    Member
    437 posts
    Helper bee

    Depends on how close your family is to one another. For me, our wedding was a very family affair – our parents were super involved in our wedding planning. There’s no way my family could have handled 2 weddings of their own kids in the same time period, mentally, physically, or financially. Plus we had a lot of relatives flying in from out of town, so people would have been forced to choose which one to come to.

    That being said, if you’re not close with your family, or don’t expect a lot of out of town relatives to fly in, or one is big and the other is a small wedding, then this might not apply and you don’t have to worry 🙂

    Post # 7
    Member
    3249 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

    I’d be annoyed but I’d get over it. Everyone has to pick a day that works best for them. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    4127 posts
    Honey bee

    The only thing that would potentially upset me is if much of the overlapping guest list would have to travel by plane to get to the weddings, and then I would be concerned about the hardship on them and they may need to pick and choose.

    But I selected wouldn’t bother me because those reasonings about “my special time” smacks of a level of self-absorption I just don’t identify with.  Happiness isn’t finite.  There is enough of it in the world for everyone.  You get a day.  They get a day.  They aren’t the same day.  No problem.

    Post # 9
    Member
    179 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    I’d be pissed but I know that’s an unpopular opinion haha. I also don’t subscribe to the “you get ONE day” mentality that is really popular on this site. You don’t REALLY only get one day. Would you propose and/or get married the day of your sibling’s bridal shower? Engagement party? Rehearsal dinner? No, not unless you’re an asshole haha. You get one *wedding* day, but there isn’t only one special day celebrating your upcoming marriage during your whole engagement. I’d have killed my husband if he tried to propose the day of one of his sibling’s events listed above. It’s just common courtesy. *End of side rant lol* 

    So yeah, while happiness isn’t finite and all that, I think there’s no reason you can’t space out events more than that to give everyone their time in the sun. Maybe some families can give attention to multiple events at once, but not all can to be honest. Especially when there is one bride or groom who is difficult or immature. But I’m obviously approaching this through my own lens and my experiences, so take it for what it’s worth! I don’t see the harm in spacing the weddings out more, I’d be annoyed if my siblings or DH’s put their wedding so close to ours. It’s unnecessary IMO. But I’m a very conscientious person and I’d never do that to one of our siblings. Maybe it’s naieve to expect others to also be as conscientious back

    Post # 10
    Member
    194 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2018 - Mount Princeton hot springs

    Ouch! As pp said, if it were making it difficult for those attending I would be more upset than if it didn’t make a difference for guests. But on the other hand I do feel that that was a slightly inconsiderate decision on your siblings part. Obviously their decision doesn’t and shouldn’t revolve around your plans but it’s still pretty annoying

    Post # 11
    Member
    1369 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2020

    My husband’s cousin scheduled her wedding for THE DAY before ours, despite being engaged a week while we had been for over 6 months. I’m over it now, especially since we only have an overlap of about 10 guests, but I was not very happy. I didn’t say anything about it to them/make drama about it though.

    A month before would not phase me in the slightest. There’s only so many weekends in a year that have nice weather and people’s schedules are free!

    Post # 12
    Member
    2809 posts
    Sugar bee

    If all the mutual guests are local and no one works weekends, not a huge deal. 

    If mutual guests have to travel and/or take off work, then obnoxious of the sibling to schedule their wedding within a month. It’s really unfair to the guests.

    Post # 13
    Member
    3090 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 2021

    It would annoy me, especially if there was a significant portion of our shared guest list that would have to travel for both.

    If there was no travel invovled in at least one of the weddings then it probably wouldn’t bother me that much. But it’s very rare for that to be the case anymore. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    382 posts
    Helper bee

    I would probably feel bummed about it, but would have to get over it.

    i know you may feel like “they could pick any day of the year, why choose that date?” But it’s really not that simple. People usually have a season or month they want to get married, and then when you take into account everyone’s schedules (brides family, grooms family, bridal party…) and also venue availability, suddenly there aren’t so many dates left over. Probably they had to go with that date or wait another whole year before getting married. A month of buffer room is sufficient I think.

    Post # 15
    Member
    1005 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2018

    weddingbuzz425 :  I would be a little annoyed and then I would stress at the idea of everyone shelling out money to stand both weddings (assuming all siblings are attendents) and then attend whatever parties that siblings are invited to over the course of the next year. This is a lot to take on. Not impossible, but a lot.

    The only thing that is worth leveraging as a means of argument is your mutual guest list… how many people are you asking to travel twice in one month? How many local and non-local folks have small kiddos? Would you be hurt if your great aunt & uncle picked your sibling’s wedding and not yours? If this means anything to either of you, please find a way to discuss this kindly.

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