Sibling weddings within 1 month.

posted 11 months ago in Engagement
  • poll: What would your reaction be?
    Totally cool, it’s not a big deal at all. : (30 votes)
    34 %
    A little upset, but no worries we can make this work : (43 votes)
    49 %
    Really upset, it’s taking away from my special time : (12 votes)
    14 %
    Extremely upset, how could you do this to me?? : (3 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 16
    Member
    768 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2019

    How long was your engagement? It’s tough and I feel for you but maybe they wanted to get married in a certain season/month and didn’t want to wait an entire year out. They also might be working their timeline around a lot of different obligations as well. I have SIX close friends and family weddings next year and I didn’t want to be engaged for 2 years so I tried to space the best I could but it was really hard- the closest wedding to mine is 5 weeks away in each direction 

    Post # 17
    Member
    1891 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Really depends on your relationship with them and if you can tell their reasons or motivation for picking so close to your date. If they really needed to do it then well at least they weren’t purposely doing it. If they had no real reasons to rush and or you know they picked it to beat you to it or something than you have reason to be upset. Me? I’d be super pissed off if it was my family member that was doing that, but my fiance’s Family? Not as annoyed for some reason. I’d be less annoyed by a cousin doing than than me or FI’s siblings. 

    MY boyfriend and I are getting engaged this year. It’s going to be us meeting, dating, engaged, and married, for less than half the time boyfriends brother has been with his Girlfriend. I’m sure his Girlfriend will be jealous but not much we can do about that. His brother is younger. 

    MMy boyfriend’s friend is getting married in 2020 they already got engaged, and I want to be married fall of 2019. So we will technically beat them. But I’m 34 and want kids so I’m not looking to waste any time. Everyone is different. My boyfriends friends wedding is sure to be exta extravagant  which I’m sure is why it’s farther out. 

    Post # 18
    Member
    4669 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    weddingbuzz425 :  i guess I’d be tad annoyed if it was before. But it’s not the end of the world. Darling Husband and I wanted to get married at the end of September and we did. My brother got married in July and even though we got engaged nearly 6 months later we were still married in September (8 weeks). My cousin did however get married 6 weeks before his sister even though he got engaged after her. No biggy.

    Post # 19
    Member
    1701 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2019

    I don’t like how you’re wording your poll options.

    Your special time? What? Are you entitled to having a full month to yourself just because you’re the bride? Wat. That’s bridezilla madness waiting to happen. 

    I can see how this would be stressful for extreme situations. For example, one wedding is in Hawaii and the other is in Paris. Or one girl is moving to Colorado and then getting married there, and your parents will help with the move and it’s gonna be a family enterprise to get everything done. 

    But I think for the VAST MAJORITY of people, it won’t be a stressful mess. And even in these extreme situations, a little humility would go a long way. 

    Post # 20
    Member
    4713 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2017

    Your wedding is in Oct 2019? And you have been engaged for a year already? So you have a long engagement. They just probably didn’t want to wait as long as you guys and that’s totally understandable. I agree that you get a day, not a month or year.

    Post # 21
    Member
    96 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    weddingbuzz425 :  I would get over it. It really not a big deal because there is a whole month as buffer. Most people don’t have 365 days to choose from, (if they are like most) they have 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays. Most weddings where I live are in the summer and the fall seasons (4 months) so that will give 35 days to choose from. Then you have to factor your VIP and your venue availabilities. I booked my venue a year ahead and i only had one weekend that I could choose from.

    Also there is never a better time, there is always something else going on because life move on. Your brother shouldn’t put his life on hold just like you shouldn’t put yours on hold. Life go too fast to keep waiting for no good reason. 

    Post # 22
    Member
    622 posts
    Busy bee

    I know I would be annoyed, however I would have no right to be, which would annoy me further.

    If there are lots of people travelling from out of town for your weddings, then that deserves a conversation first to be considerate. Especially if they are coming from O/S.

    Otherwise, they have the right to pick whatever date they want just as myself and FH did. 

    Post # 23
    Member
    243 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2017

    As long as most of your mutual guests are local, there’s no problem. I would, however, avoid sharing wedding details like colors, vendors and venue until 6 months out. 

    Post # 24
    Member
    363 posts
    Helper bee

    It would be a little stressful, especially if after you get married, they expect you to be in your wedding. Just a matter of hoping you arent exhausted after the wedding and honeymoon and unpacking into your new place (if didnt live together before wedding). But your wedding is after theirs so that’s not an issue.

     

    But stealing your spotlight? That’s absolutely ridiculous to say. Let me be honest with you: The guests at your wedding wont remember much from your wedding within 3 days of it being over. They will remember the food and maybe the venue. Half the guests may not even remember your new spouse’s name. Weddings happen and your spotlight ends as soon as your car drives away to the honeymoon. That’s just a fact. So if your sibling wants to get married a couple weeks later then go, smile and enjoy the free food and drinks.

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