Post # 1
Fiance and I both thought all our siblings would be at our wedding for sure, but one of his sisters may not be attending. I understand that life situations vary, but there’s not anything glaringly obvious (e. g. military deployment, health issues, etc) that would keep her from attending. She lives several states away but lives near a major airport hub, and at least that we know of, she is not in financial distress. Ultimately, we will understand and respect her decision either way; it just surprises us.
Is it common for people to not attend their siblings’ weddings if they are not estranged? What were the circumstances?
Post # 2
That seems odd. Unless there’s some bad blood between you guys, or she doesn’t have money I don’t see any reason why they wouldn’t. Maybe she just can’t get time off work for it? Have you tried asking her directly?
Post # 3
Every family is different, I guess, but I can’t imagine that ever happening and would not be an option in my family. I would pretty much do whatever it took to be at my brother’s wedding, I feel like.
Post # 4
- Wedding: Hawksnest Cove Beach St John USVI
My brother wasmy going to be able to attend my wedding because of cost and was embarrassed to tell me. My parents told me and after I thought about it for awhile I decided to pay for his airfare. Maybe have your parents find out why your sibling is declining?
Post # 5
My fiancee’s younger brother lives in Utah temporarily (he travels doing odd seasonal jobs here and there and camping and stuff) and just told us he’d make it to the wedding “if he’s in the area at the time.” He’s pretty flaky, though…I guess we’ll see what happens, eh? I’m an only child so I try not to intervene with ANYTHING sibling-related!
Post # 6
I only have one sibling, my brother, and he would never miss our wedding. However, when one of my best friends got married, her then FI/now DH had two of his brothers not come. I don’t think money was an issue and he’s not estranged from his brothers, they’re just not close. She and I were both pretty surprised that they wouldn’t make an effort to come to their own brother’s wedding, but I guess some families don’t consider weddings to be that significant. While it’s unusual, it’s not unheard of. Like PPs said, each family is different.
Post # 7
I listed my sibling as being estranged, but he’s really not. We’re just not close overall. He basically leeches off of my parents by having moved in with them with his wife and four kids and claims he has an illness that he does not have. He said he didn’t want to come because he doesn’t deal well with crowds (I had an under 35 guest wedding). He told my mother this, not even me directly. I see him every time I go to my parents though and am civil with him, but I don’t go out of my way to talk to him.
The people who love you and want to be there will generally be there unless there are dire circumstances.
Post # 8
Every family is different, but this would cause a major family conflict if a sibling declined an invite. I wouldnt say this is common if you have a good relationship.
Post # 9
Yeah this would cause major drama in my family lol. In my family it would probably cause drama if a cousin declines an invite as well though. (without a good reason of course) But every family is different.
Post # 10
I’ve heard a few different things about why she’s hesitating, including her work and kids’ schedules. We’re giving her time to figure out her plans because this might end up being a non-issue, but our other siblings RSVP’ed yes right away.
Post # 11
My siblings are not coming to my wedding except for my half brother but thats because I am not inviting them even if I did there is not point they won’t respond to the rsvp. I have a complicated relationship with my siblings so I don’t mind that they don’t come. My family isn’t like a typical family but all my fiance siblings are coming.
Post # 12
We had a similar situation where my daughter’s uncle (she has 1 aunt and 1 uncle, and their spouses) didn’t even bother to RSVP (only ones of 250 invited, not to do so). When my Mother-In-Law had to track them down, after the due date, the uncle said he just hadn’t gotten around to it. I just told my husband “they’re dead to me!” The bride and groom didn’t even receive so much as a congratulatory e-mail, from them. When our 2nd daughter married, and invited half as many guests, they tried to fish for an invitation with both her and us. My Mother-In-Law even got into the act and wrote a couple of nasty e-mails to the bride, asking for them to be invited. Too late! It didn’t work.
Unfortunately, I’ve heard of people that once their own wedding is passed, they really don’t care if they go to other people’s weddings or not. It was that way with my niece – my family went to her wedding and she didn’t bother to reciprocate. In laws ….
Post # 13
My Fiance and I are both very close to our families, so it would be extremely odd if our siblings didn’t come. Though, they are also in the wedding so that may be a difference.
Post # 14
my brother didn’t come to my wedding and I was pretty upset about it (there’s a thread here somewhere).
My brother is 9 years younger, we’re not super tight seeing as I left home when he was 9, but up until then we were pretty close and we hung out – I would take him to movies and play games with him that no one else wanted to play (i knew more about pokemon than any 18 year old had business knowing).
Originally he thought he wouldn’t be able to come because of his financial situation (he was 22 and in school) but my parents would have covered that – hell DH and I would have covered that to make sure he was here. He ended up getting an amazing opportunity to spend 2 weeks studying in the mountains of South America and was on top of a mountain when we got married. It sucks that he wasn’t there, and I still get bummed about it sometimes when I look at my pictures and he’s not in them, but it was an amazing opportunity and a once in a lifetime and I understand that he had to do it – the dates just conflicted (by the time he found out it was way past the point of no return in terms of trying to move the date otherwise we would have considered it)
Post # 15
My sister was unable to attend our wedding due to life circumstances (crazy ex husband who wouldn’t sign passports forms for the kids and then refused last minute to look after his own kids leaving my sister high and dry). Was I upset that she couldn’t make it, of course but I also understood that any guest, whether it be a sibling or a friend, had things in their lives that were more important to them than our wedding or that would prevent them from attending.
Just because someone can’t make it to your wedding does not mean they do not love you, support you or wish the best for you. It just means that life got in the way.