(Closed) Siblings having access to each other. Is this unconditional?

posted 7 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
1506 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I don’t agree with unrestricted access. If one sibling could potentially harm the other sibling their interaction should be monitored by at least one of the parents at all times.

Post # 4
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Without specifics I have no idea how to give you advice.

If an older sibling was violent, a child molester, or had a drug/alcohol problem, they would not be around my new baby.

Post # 5
769 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

i 2nd what @crayfish said… but if I felt there was any reason that I was feeling that a sibling shouldn’t be along with a new baby, I would follow my gut.

Post # 7
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

There is obviously a reason you are posting this. I think this person needs to be monitored, and I hope your husband can deal with it

Post # 8
2201 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Just like with grandparents, sometimes supervised access at agreed-upon times is necessary. For the safety of the baby and mental wellbeing of the family. Trust is earned, not expected.

Post # 10
423 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

If I strongly disagreed with the sibling’s actions I might not let them babysit, but yeah in order to form a strong relationship, there would need to be relatively unrestrained contact.  (Which presumably the parents would want, since they are siblings and will hopefully have each other after you guys are dead). 

Obviously, this is based on them having bad habits, not dangerous ones like Crayfish listed. 


Edited for clarity.

Post # 11
2227 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

@Quietserenity: Watch & see how things go. You don’t need to give immediate unrestricted access. If your husband is right and the person in question does get more responsible (under your supervision) then you can feel better about allowing more time together.

If the bad feelings continue, it’s your perogative to keep your baby safe!

Post # 11
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Please do NOT leave your innocent child alone with anyone who you have a gut bad feeling about. Myself as well as both of my cousins had horrible things happen to us as kids because of this, and I know it kills our mothers that they didn’t listen to their gut instinct.

Post # 12
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Double post

Post # 13
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’d agree to only supervised interactions. If you have a bad feeling about a particular behavior/action/past event, then I’d follow your instincts. This child is an adult child, if I read this correctly, so it’s highly unlikely that they’ll be very best friends/close siblings anyway. You’re the adult responsible for the infant, as is your husband, and the best interests of your baby should trump the ‘hurt feelings’ that the adult child could have. 

Post # 14
2299 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

If you feel like someone would potentially harm your child you have every right to keep them apart. I agree with pp’s when they say to listen to your gut. It doesn’t matter if the person’s your mother, mil, etc…whoever it is needs to be kept away. The parents are responsible for the safety and well being of their baby since they can’t do anything to protect themselves.

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