Post # 1
My best friend got engaged in February this year and just about 2 weeks ago picked her wedding date to be in November 2010 (it is going to be a destination wedding) But about 2 weeks ago her fiance’s only brother also got engaged and just 2 DAYS ago picked their wedding date to be just 2 weeks before my best friends wedding! So these 2 brothers are having their weddings only 2 weeks apart, when one of these weddings is going to be a destination wedding. Which means friends and family are probably going to have a hard time affording to go to both weddings and may even have to pick just one to go to. My best friend is very upset by this and so am I! I think it was extremely rude of this other “bride” to pick her wedding date to be 2 weeks before her fiance’s brothers. Am I wrong? Or is this not wedding etiquette? My best friend tried to talk to her about it to let her know that she was upset by it, but the other bride refused to change her date and saw nothing wrong with having her wedding 2 weeks before. My best friend got engaged first and picked her date first, so she shouldn’t have to change her wedding date. Any advice?
p.s. i forgot to mention that this brother and his fiance told my best friend that they were going to use her wedding as their honeymoon!
Post # 3
Wow, that is kinda rude! You would think that because they’ll be SILs soon that the other bride would consider consulting your BFF. What did the bothers think of the situation?! The other bride sounds kinda selfish and seems like she’s trying to still your BFF spotlight too! I’d watch out for the girl!
In the filipino culture siblings don’t get married in the same year (it’s a superstitious rule).
Post # 4
Oh crap… I didn’t read the poll title right! I accidentally voted “no” they shouldn’t change their date! I actually meant NO your BFF shouldn’t change her date.
That is bad taste & very inconsiderate of her guests feelings. Since your best friend selected her date first, I think she should talk to her Future Sister-In-Law about changing her date.
So now his brother won’t attend your BFF’s wedding because he’s on his honeymoon & can’t afford to travel for their wedding because he’s paying off his own wedding? Seriously… his Fiance is a cow! I can’t believe she’d do that… I really hope they change the date so your BFF and her Fiance can have their destination wedding w/ all of their friends & family there!
Post # 5
Ugh. Crappy situation. Is there some reason that that the other brother HAS to have the wedding that weekend? If there is not a really really good reason, I’d say its wrong.
Post # 6
That sucks. Really, really sucks. *hugs*
This happened to us. A family member of my FI’s got engaged several weeks after us, but planned their wedding for right before ours, after we had announced our plans and finalized our contracts with our venue, which couldn’t be changed. For his family, our wedding was a destination (as in a very long drive or a flight). So, of course, people had to choose one, and because they had to travel less for the other one, the majority picked that one, and we were kind of left in the dust. It was truly devestating for a while, and even though we eventually got over it, it still hurts when I think about it.
The sad part is, this family member wasn’t even phased by it. Not that a couple should plan their wedding around other people’s feelings, this particular situation, I thought, needed more sympathy.
So now, our guest list is very unbalanced. My FI’s side is about 30 percent, and mine’s about 70 percent. I feel awful for the way his family’s treated him, but what can ya do, right? This situation caused a LOT of hurt feelings in his family and some family members aren’t even talking because of it (the other wedding was, umm, quite forced to say the least), and the people attending our wedding were appalled that the other couple scheduled theirs when they did.
Post # 7
They absolutely should change it, how incredably rude!! Even though my FH and I wanted to get married right away, we agreed to have a 1.5 year engagement just so there could be a 6 month time gap between my wedding and my sisters. I can’t believe the nerve of them..
Post # 8
Woah, pretty inconsiderate…
course, I can’t help but wonder if it was the other bride coming to us saying “Our wedding is such and such, it’s not our fault it took them forever to pick a date, this is what works best for us…” we wouldn’t all be saying “You’re totally in the right!”
Have they sat down to discuss their concerns about having the weddings so close? I think finding out BIL and FSIL’s reasons should be step one. 🙂
Does stink to think people might have to miss out though. 🙁 Maybe BIL/SIL could get married the day after and mooch off the travel expenses that way… double destination wedding weekend? no? haha… okay, bad idea!
Post # 9
- Wedding: August 2010 - Stage 6 Steiner Studios
This situation really sucks! Unfortunately, the Future Sister-In-Law has no obligation to your BFF — it’s not a great way for her to start the relationship either! Most likely Future Sister-In-Law won’t change the date, nor can your BFF really ask her to? There might have been other constraints (her family’s availability, the venue, cost, etc.)
I think the best thing to do is for your BFF to send out save the dates and invitations waaaay ahead of the other wedding. In the end the family that wants to go to the destination will go, and the ones who don’t will use the first wedding as an excuse. But that way only the guests that want to go will be there and enjoy it the most. And the fact that they told your BFF that her wedding is going to be their honeymoon is just so…annoying. I hope your BFF and her fiance go elsewhere for theirs!!!
Post # 10
Wow. I can’t believe their Mom hasn’t stepped in and “suggested” there be more time between weddings. That is a lot to ask family to travel to both weddings so close together or even worse – to choose which wedding they will go to.