(Closed) sick and planning a wedding

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
5009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Peony007: I came down with Post Viral Fatigue Syndrome in March and was in a similar state. I was terrified that I wouldn’t cope with the wedding (let alone the planning) but I’m starting to come through the other side of it. I have a friend who has a similar syndrome but much more serious than me and she’s finding it hellish.

It’s helpful just having other people going through the same thing to talk about it with.

I did find that I actually had more time for DIY when I was off ill and did the entirety of my strassed shoes and my tiara while I was off.

Is it too rude ask what you have?

Post # 5
2261 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’ve been sick most of my life dealing with fibro, hypoglycemia and heart issues. BUT… I recently was in an apartment and have come down with black mold poisoning to top it off. I pray I am better by the wedding ๐Ÿ™ 

I feel your pain and I understand. Hugs to you! It will get better and even if it doesn’t you are in a good place right now with a loving fiance and friends here (msyelf and others) who understand and are feeling crappy right along with you ๐Ÿ™ 

It sucks but I’m positive life is still worth going on the live, no matter what your condition you can have happiness and joy surrounding yourself with caring people. 

Post # 7
630 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@Peony007: Hey girl, I went through the same thing last spring and summer. I too have tachycardia, but then low blood pressure and then fainting (they’re unsure ‘why.’ I don’t have a diagnosis) and also have to consume more salt. Gatorade and Powerade seem to help me. You just have to pull through and keep going. You can do it!

Post # 9
1501 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011


This must be hard to be going through. Us bees are all here to support you.

I have supraventricual tachycardia, well what you have sounds some worse I feel for you.

Ask friends and family to help out with the DIY. It could be some fun girls nights.

Post # 11
1446 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I have lupus and it’s a huge pain in the ass. Some days I’m so tired I can barely function. I feel your pain.. ๐Ÿ™

Post # 12
1501 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Peony007:My BM’s don’t live anywhere near me. I had to do everything I wanted DIY myself. Sometimes Darling Husband did help, depending on what it was. I ended up crossing things off for lack of time. Just slowly pick away at things, starting with the most important. Get through as much as you can and if one or two projects don’t get done, done dwell on it, enjoy what you did make.

Post # 13
304 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

i hope you feel better hun..so sorry..what this stress does to us :(( feel better…

Post # 14
1572 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

*hugs* While I don’t know what you’re dealing with, I understand some of what you’re going through. I have some chronic health issues that are currently flaring. The past few weeks have been really awful – and despite this being one of the worst health times in my life (at least 3 times have been worse), my partner proposed. He proposed to me while i was sitting on the bed and had just thrown up less than an hour before. I’ve spent several days telling him to not marry me b/c he should be with someone he can count on to be able to do things and even clean the house. However, my partner loves me – warts (well, I don’t have those, so maybe, throwing up) and all. Dependent on a certain issue, we will either be planning a summer 2012 wedding or 2013. I kind of prefer 2013 b/c it will give us more time. While we want to do a fair amount of DIY elements, I know that realistically I can’t push myself. One of my good friends has offered to help in any way she can – and she knows a lot about my health so she knows that this can very easily be me sitting on the couch slowly working and taking plenty of breaks. Last night I cried and told my partner I’m worried that I’ll be this sick on our wedding day and he said that if that’s the way it is, we’ll deal – but I have plenty of time to get a little better. He said if I have to walk down teh aisle with a cane, then we’ll decorate it! A girl I’m going to have be one of my bridesmaids has MS, and uses two canes (which we’ve already giggled over how we’ll decorate). 

Since you seem to already be active in a support group online, I say use it as much as you can. I’m going to start going to support groups in person again (mostly b/c my work place has been really, really terrible about my health lately – as in, I legit had my adviser say “But you don’t look sick”. My jaw dropped. I cried on my way home). If you aren’t a member of Chronic Babe (http://chronicbabeclub.ning.com/), I highly suggest it. There is even a Chronic Bride group! Even though it isn’t as active as another online group I’m in or this site, I’ve found some great support there. It’s also very reassuring for me to log on there and see so many women who understand what day to day life is like, even if they don’t have the same health issue. 

Obviously, this is easier said than done, but with any health issue, stress does not help. I really blame stress for my current flare. I think that I also did let stress get to the level it was at, and am kind of mad at myself for that. Do you have any outlets for stress or ways of controlling it?

I say cry if you need to. I hate hate hate crying in front of people, and have allowed myself to let down my guard and cry in front of my partner lately. He doesn’t make me feel bad for crying and has encouraged me to cry if I need to – and oh boy, I’ve cried a lot lately! That isn’t to say that I’ve just been sitting around our house feeling bad for myself. But, when baking a pie for Thanksgiving (we were going to my partner’s parents so I felt pressure to really bring my A-game!), I broke down b/c I honestly couldn’t stand enough to bake. So, my partner and I talked about what accommodations I needed to bake. Also, he’d NEVER made a pie (I bake, it’s one of my stress outlets and I love to bake anyway! So i was shocked he never made a pie). So, he learned and did a great job. This meant that I made the pie crust sitting on the couch in the living room and it took twice as long. That’s fine. 

Do you have it in your budget for a wedding planner or even a day-of-coordinator? We’re making room in our budget for at least a day of coordinator so it’s one less thing for ME to stress about. That’s worth it for us and we’re lucky enough to haev that extra money in our budget. If you don’t have the money for that, what about a friend or four that could step in and help? I have a few friends who I know I can trust to do some tasks that day and I plan to absolutely ask them to help out.

Post # 15
233 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Lots of get well wishes to all who are suffering.  We really don’t appreciate our health until it becomes an issue.

I’m sure you will all look and feel radiant on your wedding day, just hang in there!  

Take care and try not to stress… stress and despair do not help at all.  And remember to lean on loved ones and don’t be afraid to ask for help.

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