Post # 1
So. I’m sick. I went to bed with a low grade fever, woke up with the low grade fever, and feel like crap. It’s just a cold, but colds are annoying as hell…
I’m supposed to be going to a wedding on Saturday, but as I said before I’m sick. I don’t know whether I should go or not go. I’m sure I’ll be feeling better by the wedding, but will probably still be quite fatigued and I might even be a bit contagious (I don’t know how long colds stay contagious for).
The wedding is supposed to be pretty upscale, and all the food is a sit down, 3 course meal. So, it’s expensive.
So my question to brides. Would you prefer a guest show up feeling a little under the weather and not waste food, or not come at all and have the food wasted?
I’ve read so many stories of people on here getting really upset when guests don’t show up to a wedding and they have to waste the seat and the money etc.
Post # 3
That is tricky and you are being very thoughtful..I think as long as they were past the most contagious stage and weren’t coughing/sneezing/feeling terrible, I would want them to come if they felt able.
Post # 4
- Wedding: June 2012 - Franklin Plaza
I guess it depends on how close you are to the couple? If you really don’t think you are well enough to go you should probably stay home. As the bride, I might be a little bit upset but I think I’d quickly get over it. We had a few last minute changes to our guest list and while it was a little bit annoying everything worked out just fine. I would suggest you tell her TODAY though. If the wedding is on Saturday she will probably be super busy with last minute things and the rehearsal tomorrow.
Post # 5
if you can go to work, you can go to the wedding. Most likely you were contagious before you had any symptoms.
Post # 6
I’m sure they had to give the final count to the caterer already. So yes, I’d be mad if someone cancelled last minute because of a cold and that they are tired.
Post # 8
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
You are very likely not contagious anymore. Usually, you are most contagious with colds before symptoms appear, not after.
I’d try to go unless you really feel terrible, but if you cannot go, you should let the bride and/or groom know. Do you have a friend, spouse, or family member invited who could express your regrets? Maybe you could even call the bride or groom now and let them know you are ill and are hoping to feel better but wanted to give them a heads up.
ETA: we had 2 guests back out because they were ill and we weren’t upset about it at all. What angers brides is when people don’t show with no explanation or just because they decided not to come after all at the last minute.
Post # 9
@dkacerek: I only work on the weekends since I’m in college and I had to take work off for this wedding.I’m skipping class today because I literally can’t walk without pain.
@BrooklynWife: And the issue is more that I’d be contagious too, and we’re sleeping in a hotel with SO’s mom, dad, and grandma. So it’s a lot of people in an enclosed area.
I definitely still want to go, I just wondered more if a bride would be mad at a guest for being sick, especially since I’m technically the +1. Which is another reason I really want to go, because she need to let my SO have a +1 (though, honestly… I’m hardly a +1 due to a long story about his brother throwing a hissy fit…)
Post # 10
This doesn’t seem like a decision that has to be made today – feeling too sick to go to a wedding, to me, would be a last-minute decision, because unless I truly felt terrible, I’m planning on going.
Is there another reason you don’t want to go? Having a cold a few days out doesn’t seem like a big deal in the grand scheme of things.
Post # 11
I would still go, unless you’re really really can’t get out of bed sick. I went to a wedding in August with a terrible cold. I wasn’t much fun (luckily, I really didn’t know the couple that well, they were friends of my husbands) but I still feel like I made teh best decision to go. I would have been upset if someone cancelled last minute to my wedding.
Post # 12
I’d want you to attend under the circumstances you described, assuming it doesn’t get substantially worse by Saturday. Rest up most of the day and save your energy for the wedding. It would be kind of sucky to cancel last minute/no show because of a cold.
Post # 13
This is why I asked the Bee. My SO is trying to convince me that I shouldn’t go, but I feel like that would be such a waste. I’m sad that we probably won’t be able to dance. But I really wanted to go, especially to meet more of SO’s extended family.
And my going to the wedding at all turned into a huge debacle in the immediate family of my SO, so I’d really hate to waste it.
Post # 14
@BrooklynWife: That’s not very sympathetic.
Post # 15
At this point, she’s stuck paying for your plate, rentals etc regardless. If you’re feeling up to it, i’d go!
Post # 16
@Cornmuffin09: I would base it solely on how bad I was feeling. If it’s mild I would go, if I can barely sit up, then i’m not going.
As a bride I’m going to be pissed at those that RSVP yes then no show, without a reason. So if you don’t go, just call/text/email her and let her know you are just too sick. Still send them a card and gift though, you just cost the couple a ton of money by not going.