(Closed) Sick Guests?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1652 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

That is tricky and you are being very thoughtful..I think as long as they were past the most contagious stage and weren’t coughing/sneezing/feeling terrible, I would want them to come if they felt able.

Post # 4
1901 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012 - Franklin Plaza

I guess it depends on how close you are to the couple? If you really don’t think you are well enough to go you should probably stay home. As the bride, I might be a little bit upset but I think I’d quickly get over it. We had a few last minute changes to our guest list and while it was a little bit annoying everything worked out just fine. I would suggest you tell her TODAY though. If the wedding is on Saturday she will probably be super busy with last minute things and the rehearsal tomorrow.

Post # 5
883 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

if you can go to work, you can go to the wedding.  Most likely you were contagious before you had any symptoms.


Post # 6
882 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m sure they had to give the final count to the caterer already. So yes, I’d be mad if someone cancelled last minute because of a cold and that they are tired. 

Post # 7
5093 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

I would go.

Post # 8
7901 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

You are very likely not contagious anymore. Usually, you are most contagious with colds before symptoms appear, not after.

I’d try to go unless you really feel terrible, but if you cannot go, you should let the bride and/or groom know. Do you have a friend, spouse, or family member invited who could express your regrets? Maybe you could even call the bride or groom now and let them know you are ill and are hoping to feel better but wanted to give them a heads up.

ETA: we had 2 guests back out because they were ill and we weren’t upset about it at all. What angers brides is when people don’t show with no explanation or just because they decided not to come after all at the last minute.

Post # 10
989 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

This doesn’t seem like a decision that has to be made today – feeling too sick to go to a wedding, to me, would be a last-minute decision, because unless I truly felt terrible, I’m planning on going. 

Is there another reason you don’t want to go?  Having a cold a few days out doesn’t seem like a big deal in the grand scheme of things.

Post # 11
21 posts
  • Wedding: May 2011

I would still go, unless you’re really really can’t get out of bed sick. I went to a wedding in August with a terrible cold. I wasn’t much fun (luckily, I really didn’t know the couple that well, they were friends of my husbands) but I still feel like I made teh best decision to go. I would have been upset if someone cancelled last minute to my wedding.

Post # 12
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I’d want you to attend under the circumstances you described, assuming it doesn’t get substantially worse by Saturday. Rest up most of the day and save your energy for the wedding. It would be kind of sucky to cancel last minute/no show because of a cold.

Post # 15
10366 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

At this point, she’s stuck paying for your plate, rentals etc regardless. If you’re feeling up to it, i’d go!

Post # 16
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Cornmuffin09:  I would base it solely on how bad I was feeling. If it’s mild I would go, if I can barely sit up, then i’m not going.

As a bride I’m going to be pissed at those that RSVP yes then no show, without a reason. So if you don’t go, just call/text/email her and let her know you are just too sick. Still send them a card and gift though, you just cost the couple a ton of money by not going.

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