Post # 1
ugh ladies i am truly at my breaking point! Fiance and i are both Full time students so our time together is already limited. Fiance just got a promotion at work meaning he will be working until 9 or 10 every night. In the mean time, this past semester has been pretty laid back for me so i have alot of time on my hands. I have been applying for jobs just because i cant sit at home anymore. My issue is that Fi has been spending ALL of the free time that he does have, with his friends,fishing, or at the neigbors playing video games. He has even played viideogames so late that i wake up in the morning to find him asleep on the couch, and had never made it to bed. It has been bothering me that we have not had any us time for the past few weeks but today really put me over the edge. i thawed out chili, made homemade cornbread and a salad for dinner, only to get a txt from Fiance that he is gonna go fishing. I txted him back saying that i had made dinner. His response was to go ahead and eat and that he would heat it up when he got home! i have told him several times that we need to spend more time together, but he just doesnt understand. I am not a needy person by any means, but knowing that i literally am only living with him, and we have not had any sort of relationship the past few weeks is about to push me over the edge!
Please any give advice that you may have, i am getting pretty desprite!
Post # 3
@mattsgirl813: I think you need to discuss your concerns with him. Tell him you feel like he isn’t making time for you guys to have “together time”. Since he has a busy schedule you could suggest him setting aside some couple time for just you and him. This would be a time when he doesn’t have work and/or have school, and neither do you, for you to share together.
If he is not willing to do this for the relationship or plans to do it but fails to hold up to his promise, I would strongly suggest reevaulating your relationship and why you want to marry him. I’m sure you’re in love with the person you met. Unfornuately, life gets hectic and to make any relationship work you have to put time and effort in it to keep it going.
Post # 4
He seems like a very ‘go and do’ person. Are there any activities you can do together? Clubs you can join together? You mention you are students- at my university there was a ballroom dance class that met once a week and taught a difference dance each time so you could drop in. Or what about a hobby you can do together?
Post # 5
I think it’s important for him to know that spending quality time is important to you. It sounds like that might not be AS important to him – remember the love languages? If you haven’t read the book, I would recommend it. He needs to understand that this is important to YOU, though it might be for him.
In my experience, when a guy feel overwhelmed, they can just shut down and do things to distract. I know you said you tried taklking to him already, but try the following:
– Sit face to face, knee to knee.
– Start with “I feel…” and tell him how you feel. Once you’re done, ask him if he understood what you just said.
-Instead of saying “we need to spend more time together,” be more specific about what you want and how you’re going to get it. For example, you can say “how about we set aside date night once a week (or twice a week – or whatever)? and say, “for this week, i am free on thursday night.” then go from there.