(Closed) Sick of trying to get along with future family

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@SimplyChic11: Yes, it does hurt. You described what we went through too. Please, at this point, stop trying. Save your energy and be happy with your fiance. That’s the only advice I can give because I assure you that they are not at home losing sleep about you. Even if it is their son and brother. Also remember that it’s not your fault. Closed minded future family have to realize what they are doing is wrong. Until they do, you can’t change them.

I could advise that Fiance speak to them, etc, etc, like my husband did, but it still got us no where in the long run. My husband’s birthday was this past monday and his mom didn’t even call him. (First time ever that she dosen’t calll for a special occasion – she just hates me THAT much that she can hurt her own son).

Be happy with fiance and ignore them. Hugs, too.

Post # 4
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

@SimplyChic11: It hurts and it sucks and I am sorry that  you are going through this. But at this point it seems that you have made every effort to try and include them in your plans and excitement! They are the ones that are choosing to not be a part of that. I would just stop trying and enjoy your engagement withyour Fiance and the family and friends that are excited for you and support you. When they are around be nice be civil, but you dont need to go out of your way to talk to them etc if they are going to ignore you everytime. You dont need that in this happy time of your life!! If it continues to bother you maybe you could have Fiance talk to them again, but they are not going to change unless they want to.

Post # 5
2442 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Stop trying to force things.  If things change for the better, let it happen naturally. They ignore your texts and calls so stop texting and calling.  Do your thing without the stress of being ignored by them and you won’t keep being disappointed.  It is what it is.  You can’t make it be something else.  

By The Way, not everyone is all into the wedding planning thing.  It may be personal or it may be that they just are not into it.  Either way, stop torturing yourself.  Get the excitement from your friends and family and keep on stepping.  

ETA:  I’m not saying write them off.  Be courteous to them and invite and inform them when necessary.  Other than that, do your own thing with your people.

Post # 6
106 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Really, spend your energy focusing on your Fiance and your engagement.  Ignore the family.  It took me 4 years to realize that worrying about whether my Future In-Laws like me only made me feel worse.  Some people are like that, and while you can be civil and even friendly towards them when you have to be, don’t spend your time being upset that they don’t seem to care.  You have a man who loves you and definitely DOES care!

Post # 7
19 posts
  • Wedding: June 2012

Amen Sisterbees!!! Geez – I’m glad to know I’m not the only one feeling like this. I agree with everyone so far. It is not worth the stress. If they’re anything like my FH’s family, you’ll be loved one day and hated the next. Just know that soon it will be you and him, and if they want to be part of your lives, they’ll need to suck it up and get over themselves.

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