Post # 1
FH and I already have a rocky starting out point with his family. They refuse to be happy about the fact their grown son is getting married and starting a family away from them, which is already hard enough to deal with.
We had agreed on trying to make peace with them as much as possible but that’s just not happening. I am tired of reaching out only to be ignored or misunderstood. Texts, never replied to. Calls, never returned.
I bought my wedding dress this week and FH suggested his mom and sister would be excited for me. I was against letting them know because of all the drama that had gone on, but finally tried to contact them about it. I left a message early in the week that was never returned.
I feel like I am so unimportant to them! FH has mentioned this to them last time they were here but it’s totally gone in one ear and out the other. I don’t know how to make peace with these people or even if they care about our wedding. They certainly don’t seem excited for us and that hurts. 🙁
Post # 3
@SimplyChic11: Yes, it does hurt. You described what we went through too. Please, at this point, stop trying. Save your energy and be happy with your fiance. That’s the only advice I can give because I assure you that they are not at home losing sleep about you. Even if it is their son and brother. Also remember that it’s not your fault. Closed minded future family have to realize what they are doing is wrong. Until they do, you can’t change them.
I could advise that Fiance speak to them, etc, etc, like my husband did, but it still got us no where in the long run. My husband’s birthday was this past monday and his mom didn’t even call him. (First time ever that she dosen’t calll for a special occasion – she just hates me THAT much that she can hurt her own son).
Be happy with fiance and ignore them. Hugs, too.
Post # 4
@SimplyChic11: It hurts and it sucks and I am sorry that you are going through this. But at this point it seems that you have made every effort to try and include them in your plans and excitement! They are the ones that are choosing to not be a part of that. I would just stop trying and enjoy your engagement withyour Fiance and the family and friends that are excited for you and support you. When they are around be nice be civil, but you dont need to go out of your way to talk to them etc if they are going to ignore you everytime. You dont need that in this happy time of your life!! If it continues to bother you maybe you could have Fiance talk to them again, but they are not going to change unless they want to.
Post # 5
Stop trying to force things. If things change for the better, let it happen naturally. They ignore your texts and calls so stop texting and calling. Do your thing without the stress of being ignored by them and you won’t keep being disappointed. It is what it is. You can’t make it be something else.
By The Way, not everyone is all into the wedding planning thing. It may be personal or it may be that they just are not into it. Either way, stop torturing yourself. Get the excitement from your friends and family and keep on stepping.
ETA: I’m not saying write them off. Be courteous to them and invite and inform them when necessary. Other than that, do your own thing with your people.
Post # 6
Really, spend your energy focusing on your Fiance and your engagement. Ignore the family. It took me 4 years to realize that worrying about whether my Future In-Laws like me only made me feel worse. Some people are like that, and while you can be civil and even friendly towards them when you have to be, don’t spend your time being upset that they don’t seem to care. You have a man who loves you and definitely DOES care!
Post # 7
Amen Sisterbees!!! Geez – I’m glad to know I’m not the only one feeling like this. I agree with everyone so far. It is not worth the stress. If they’re anything like my FH’s family, you’ll be loved one day and hated the next. Just know that soon it will be you and him, and if they want to be part of your lives, they’ll need to suck it up and get over themselves.