Post # 1
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
Hello bees,
I got married on the 30th of August and I love my DH so much. He has been a fantastic husband and for the most part we are happy. The week before the wedding I was getting severe tummy cramps and I was sick every time I ate. Thinking it was nerves from the stress of wedding week I brushed it off and we got married and went on our honeymoon, and I was ill on and off for the next week. I went to the doctor to find that my uterus and bowel were enflammed so I went on tablets for three weeks.
Literally the week I came of the tablets I was feeling sore *down there* after sex and it was so painful. I went back to the doctor and had to take pessaries due to a bad reaction to the tablets and I was told not to take the previous medication ever again.
Feeling sad and hopeless my husband kept trying to find ways to cheer me up, like bring me home nice food and little surprises. He is such a sweetheart but it just made me feel like there wasn’t much I could do to be a good wife to him. To top it off I currently have chicken pox and can’t leave the house for a week or so, which means I can’t get groceries or go to work.I feel like a useless wife right now, I have never been this sick before and in our marriage I have hardly been able to sleep with my husband or do I guess wifely things for him. I know deep down he just wants me to get better and be well again but I wish there was some waythat I could do something to make him feel loved and appreciated, he seems flat lately 🙁
Post # 2
Member
965 posts
Busy bee
- Wedding: September 2014 - Merritt Winery
AugustBlossom: my DH was ill and had different health issues during our engagement. I felt overwhelmed between planning the wedding and taking care of him. I knew he couldn’t help it But I certainly got “flat” at times! My advice would be to just acknowledge his hard word and kindness. Let him know that all the little sweet things he is doing for you are definitely noticed and appreciated. Tell him what an awesome hubs he is being and that you are the luckiest girl in the world.
Post # 3
Member
562 posts
Busy bee
I’m so sorry you’ve been so sick 🙁 being ill and chicken pox sucks so much!!! It might not seem like it now but this phase won’t last forever. Our lives tend to go through hills and valleys. It must be frustrating for this to happen right at the beginning of your marriage, but things can only get better!
I’m sure your hubby seems flat because he feels sorry for you and for the situation. Next time he’s sick it can be your turn to pamper him! And that time will surely come!
Other than that, make sure you’re seeing a good doctor *hugs*
Post # 5
Member
288 posts
Helper bee
I am so sorry to learn of what you have been going through. I can see that it’s so hard on you. My first thoughs are that you may need to ease your worries about your role as a wife and discuss these feelings with your hubby. Let him know how much you appreciate him and that you will get through this together…someday this will all be behind you. It must be so hard, but try to be hopeful and tell him the same. At times he may seem “flat” because he wants to do more for you and is trying to fugure out how. He may feel that he in some way should be able to fix all of this, in many ways this tends to be their nature, but just have a talk about all he is doing and that he is the best. Reassure him that you need to work together (maybe this will take some weight off his shoulders) and that neither of you will have all the answers…ride this out together. Many blessings your way.
Post # 6
Member
505 posts
Busy bee
As “the sickie” in the relationship, I get your feelings.
However, as my husband put it, he’d much rather be taking care of me and me be sick now, then when we were singe/lived by ourselves. He’d much rather be taking care of me than have me suffering alone.
Life happens, you need to get over the pity party, rest up, do what you can. If you’re giving 100% that’s all that’s need.
Post # 7
Member
1944 posts
Buzzing bee
AugustBlossom: sounds miserable, sorry to hear! You are doing the best you can and so is he! Don’t be so hard on yourself. Of course he seems a bit flat, I’m sure he is worried about you and I doubt you’d be a ray of sunshine either if he were the one ill. You will recover and you guys can do something special to reconnect.
Post # 8
Member
971 posts
Busy bee
I think you hve to be really careful about compounding the sitution by being full of self-pity. The whole “Feeling sad and hopeless my husband kept trying to find ways to cheer me up, like bring me home nice food and little surprises.” is a little over-the-top. It’s bad enough you’re sick all the time but ‘hopeless’ is a little extreme, ya know?<br /><br />
Keep things in perspective. You are going to be his wife for the rest of your life. This is only right now. Everything is temporary. Keep your chin up and look to the very long future you have together. Being stuck in today is not good for you physically, mentally or emotionally and it isn’t good for your marriage. If you want to do something for your husband and your marriage, don’t give so much power to your very temporary physical situation.
Post # 9
Hostess
18622 posts
Honey Beekeeper
I’m so sorry you aren’t doing well. I am the sick one in our relationship and have been sick with chronic conditions since right before we got engaged. I hope that you start to feel better and get to the bottom of why you are feeling unwell. But know that your husband loves you, not just for your body or what you do for him.
Post # 10
Member
3645 posts
Sugar bee
Can to organise to get groceries delivered Buy shopping online? Or, where I live you can order the groceries online but then just pick them up (already bagged and paid for). This would make it easier on you DH and make you feel less useless.
Feel better soon!
