(Closed) Sick parent…wedding stress…just am sad

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
48 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Wow, that is really awful. It’s unspeakably sad to have to go through something so traumatic while simultaneously trying to plan a celebration. I’m in the same boat — my dad’s on dialysis and not doing well — and it really makes everything… grayer. You’ll make it through, though, just lean on the people who love and support you.

And never feel lame for talking about it! 🙂

Post # 4
Member
15 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’m so sorry to hear about your situation.  I wish I had some good advice or words of wisdom to offer.  Instead I will offer you my support and some good energy.  Stay strong and keep your head up. 

Post # 5
Member
619 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

Im so sorry and can totally relate to what youre going through. My future Mother-In-Law was diagnosed on xmas eve with stage 4 pancreatic cancer…therefore, we moved our wedding from Sept to February 21st..as in 2 weeks…we wanted to make sure she would be able to be with us on our special day.

Planning your wedding and coping with a family member who is very ill is like juggling your emotions on a daily basis…youre excited but feel guilty..your sad and mad at the same time…you try to be strong for everyone but want people to be excited for you….

try talking to your Mom alone and see if you can move up your date even more..or downsize like we did to make it easier for you….and them. 

message me anytime if you want to chat…the Bee’s will also be a big support as they have been with me. Smile

Post # 6
Member
7052 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Hugs to you (((((((spazmorelda)))).  I think I feel similar to how you’re feeling and understand right now.

It sounds as if you’re trying to figure out how to be the happy bride in the fact of such pain with what’s happening to your dad.

And it is hard to even find balance.  I’ll keep your family, esp your dad in my prayers and I hope the Medical Univ can find a way to help and heal.  Be supportive of him and if he’s able to attend, do everything you can to make your wedding day special for him. 

Right now my grandma (who with my grandpa practically raised us, our dad worked so much, and our mom was always distant) is on hospice and has weeks to live, and my grandpa went into the hospital over the weekend with chf and stage IV
 kidney disease.  On one hand I am the happy bride, and other days I cry about this. 

What I do know is your dad would want you to have a lovely wedding and IS happy for you.  Knowing my grandmother would want the same for me has helped me somehow regain some of the happiness right now.  I am so sorry again that all of you are going thru this, and wish healing and happiness to your dad. 

Post # 7
Member
601 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010 - Heinz Chapel Ceremony, Museum Reception

Hi spazmorelda,

I am so sorry for the situation that you are in. I can sympathize as to how you are feeling like you can’t imagine planning your wedding and having all that fun in the face of such a sad situation. My fiance and I are in a situation that’s both similar and different; last week, his mother had a heart attack and passed away very suddenly and unexpectedly. I have had some of the same feelings as you. I can’t offer you any solutions, just my sympathy. Please send me a message if you want to talk. I am here to listen.

Post # 8
Member
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I am so sorry about all you are going through. I don’t really have any advice or input, other than to say that we are hear when you need to vent … 

Post # 10
Member
619 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

I think in these times, sometimes things just work out however they’re going to work out for us…be strong and know we’re all here for you…it is ironic that your Dad has stepped up, let him help as much as he can!

Post # 11
Member
1763 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I am so sorry you are going through this when it should be the happiest time. I am sure your wedding is giving your dad something to focus on. I hope you find comfort that he is in a great place to get great care. We really do have great doctors in this state (I am a little biased as I work at UW in Madison).

If you ever need anything, I am sure all of us Wisconsin bees would do whatever we could to help!

Post # 12
Member
227 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

You’re not alone.

Weddings are part of life, and life is rarely ideal. My fiance’s father passed away 2 1/2 weeks ago. We couldn’t move up our wedding enough for him to make it. What kept us going is knowing how excited he was for us, even though he couldn’t express it, and how we were going to keep him part of the day no matter what. (We’re now getting married on what would’ve been his 61st birthday.)

I had many times where I didn’t want to plan and didn’t want to be happy and was annoyed with how others were stressing over the fonts on their cocktail napkins. Step away from it when you need to. Realize that your day may be bittersweet and that’s ok. Humans can find hope and happiness even in the midst of all that gray. Even though your parents are having a rough time now, they WILL find hope through your new beginning. My FI’s family is.

*hugs*

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